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My friend got raped. Sorry Its so long but I need help.
Alright, this is the deal. I have an extremly
close group of bestfriends. We range from 13 to 14. We've all been friends since I can remember. So this year this girl we never really hangout with started hanging out with us. (We were really nice to her, she just felt left out... its hard to include her when all of us were so close). However we tried our best. So for the past couple months she hasnt been hanging out with us as much but we all still get along. So anyway getting to my point... the beginging of this week she told me she got raped. I had known for a long time she was seeing this older african american boy from another school. I'd met him once and he seemed kind of shady. She doesnt exactly have the same taste in boys as my closer friends and I do, we're into cute preppy suck ups (I know I know.) We were writing notes in LA class and I asked her why they broke up and she told me he forced himself on her and at first I didnt belive her beacuse she does a lot to get attention but I looked over and she was all teary eyed. And She's not the type of person to cry in class. What can I do ? I told her she should talk to someone but she wont. I promised her I wouldnt say anything... but this is horrible right? I just dont know. She told her sister... but her sister just thinks she wanted to, and wasnt raped. Who can I tell ? Or should I just not bother. I dont want her to get angry.
HELP.
thank you.
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hey, well dont tell anyone else. if she wanted other people to know then she would have told them. especially dont tell the girls in your group, so probably choose you to tell for a reason. she probably thought taht you were the best secret keeper and you wouldnt want to let her down right? encourage her to tell a trusted parent/guardian. if she doesnt want to do that then advise her to seek help. whether its a conciler or a therapist. be there for her as much as possible, but dont suffocate her.
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You need to encourage your friend to tell someone she trusts.
Her mother, a teacher, a guidance counselor, a doctor - obviously someone with an unbiased opinion on the situation (someone with bias would be her sister, obviously, from her reaction).
But it's key that /she/ is the one to tell them.
Not you.
Be there for her. Let her talk to you.
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tell her a few tims that it would be a great idea to tell her mom, or would she like to get the guy arrested? if not, understand that its difficult for her , and don't bring the subject up, if there's anything that your noticing is going to relate with your friend and her ex, change subject, also if sh wants to talk to you give her fullsupport an sometimes, people that goes through that aren't looking for advice, cause they know their possible options..sometimes they just want someone to listen, because they can't tell that kind of things to faimly or other people..just as a suggestion tell her to do something like call police, or tell her family , but don't push to hard on it , cause she might geet upset
have a nice day =D
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Don't tell anyone else. Just be there if she wants to discuss it with you. During those times encourage her to speak to her mother about it. The guy really needs to be arrested for what he did.
Don't keep bringing it up. She may not want to talk about it. But if she does, encourage her to tell an adult. :)
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