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Support him or dump him?
I have been dating my boyfriend for 20 months now. I couldn't love him more. There's this little problem though: he doesn't have a job. He quit his job back in November and is barely even trying to get a new one. He used to be a cashier, so he refuses to apply at any job that deals with serving people in general. It bugs the hell out of me that he won't get off his ass, suck it up, and get a job. He needs the money and we both know it. I bug him about getting a job everyday and he just tells me not to worry and he'll take care of it. He told me yesterday he was getting a new gaming system and that just made me thing "Wow. Now you can put off getting a job even longer."
He doesn't ask me for money and I don't lend it to him, but I get upset when we can't go out as much as we used to because he doesn't have any money and I can't pay every time. I'm worried that he'll always be this irresponsible and he won't be able to help support our kids when we get married.
I don't know if I should just leave him and tell him to call me when he gets a job or just sit tight, be supportive, and keep my mouth shut. I love him and I'd do anything to help him out, but this is getting ridiculous. What would you do?
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Money is always a touchy subject, especially for men.
But there is no excuse for being lazy. Tell it to him straight: He needs to get off his ass and get a job! (Well, maybe not with the profanity.)
Tell him that if you want a future together, he needs to have a stable job that you can depend on, and vice versa. Offer to help him job search if he decides to be proactive.
Finding a job doesnt have to be that hard, considering all the websites out there that are devoted to it.
So support him, but don't baby him. If he wont get serious about this, tell him you will have to reconsider your relationship. I know it sounds serious, but to many relationships have crumbled because of debt and money problems.
Good luck!
-DearAbby92
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If i didnt help you then i shouldnt of got a higher rating...Idont believe in that kind of thing..I just thought you were being nasty so i got defensive.Which is what we shouldnt do ..i guess other attitudes are starting to rub off on me but its not your fault
what are you talking about i dont care about the rating...but what made me lash back was the snotty tone of i know what love is thank you very much...im just being truthful..wheter you agree or not...
edit-if your going to get that easily offended you shouldnt ask...i can only go by what you told me..
it doesnt sound like it and i wasnt saying you said he had to be rich but this kindof thing happens if you truly loved him you wouldnt consider breaking it off over something so little...you would just be irritated...unconditional love is needed in marriage..i dont care if you changed the rating..im being truthful...get off your high horse...you either love him and stick with him..no matter what...wow you sound like such a prize...(sarcastic)if its that big of a problem then maybe hes not right for you...you should base your entire future on one event...are you guys even engaged...do you have the wedding planned and to say for him to call you when he gets a job..if your really thinking about marriage then your in it for the highs and lows
Its not like hes asking you for money but if it was real love youd love him if he lived in a card board box....material thing dont matter as long as you have eachother..its called unconditional love and if your thinking about breaking it off over something like that then you need to consider your idea love..its not like this guy is using or abusing you..and before you think about marriage you need to understand that means love through thick and thin despite his carrer,cash flow,e.t.c .
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Well, it goes to show where his priorities lie. He has no job, no income, and is spending money on frivolous items such as gaming systems?
I would give him an ultimatum. Either get a job and grow up or you are going to find some one who is willing to show that he is capable of sharing the responsibility of having a family.
If he won't comply, I would seriously consider reevaluating my relationship, especially before even considering the idea of marriage, let alone bringing children into this world with him.
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Where is he getting money for a game system? I think I'd be telling that person they aren't helping the situation.
I'm afraid I wouldn't put up with it. You work, he should work. As for telling you not to worry about it? Well, he isn't doing much to ease your mind there!
I would tell him to get off his ass and find work. I'd set a time limit for him to do it. I'd tell him if he doesn't have a job by then you will walk. He isn't the only one. Among my kids' friends, very few feel the need to work. Don't even let him get started.
Good luck. :)
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