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Friends and Alcohol
Right so I'm 17 years old. When I was 15 i went through some rough times and I turned to alcohol as a solution. It got pretty bad but i got over it eventually. Now I'm older i'm still having a rough time and I find that I keep going to alcohol as a solution.
As if thats not the worse of it, when i do drink I get absolutly wasted. Meaning i cry, i say embaressing things and I generally piss off my friends.
I'm terrified my friends are going to hate me for this. They drink, they've done it before. So many people have told me that they wont hate me for it, especially as its happened so often.
I just wish i could get over this paranoia that everyone hates me. its horrible.
I also want advice on what to do about this drink problem. Im more composed when I'm on drugs so I'm thinking of sticking to them rather than the drink as im less of a mess.
I just hate seeing my friends now. when i look them in the eye its almost like i can see them replaying the drunken night, even if they wernt.
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Maybe give some free advice about: Friendship?
Okay, first, I'm not trying to upset you. You have a problem and if you're babied about it, you're not going to have the drive to fix it. You need to hear it straight up.
Your friends may not actually hate you, but it seems that your actions are causing them to dislike being around you more and more. I don't think that you are paranoid. I think that when they look at you, they DO replay those drunken nights in their heads. Again though, they don't hate you. Not in the least, so don't feel bad about yourself. If they hated you, they would have started avoiding you long before now. They just can't stand how you can't control your drinking and they care so much about you that they continue being your friend. They are great friends, you are really lucky. However, if you aren't careful, you will lose them all over this. You need to get help before it gets more out of hand than it already is.
People always say that the hardest part is admitting that you have a problem. I tend to disagree with this. It's easy to admit that you have a problem, what's not easy is to motivate yourself to get the help that you need. My advice would be to find an AA group or something similar in your area. It would be a good idea too, if when you were with your friends, they set limits for you. Tell them to cut you off after a certain amount. Ask them if they would encourage and support you. They seem like great people and I think they would be more than happy to help you with anything you needed.
Remember that drugs are just a temporary fix and tend to only magnify your problems. Be a "man" and stop trying to hide from your problems through drugs. You need to find a positive way to deal and cope with them. Try to replace alcohol and drugs with something else. Writing, exercising, video games, anything. I wish you the very best of luck and I know that you can find the strength to get through this. :)
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Part of fixing a problem of this magnitude is admitting to yourself that you have one. Most addicts when this kind of thing takes hold of them may see it as a problem but cannot admit they need help all the time as they don't see it as bad as it is or as a non-addicted person is watching it occur.
You need to turn to your parents, friends and other adults you trust now and say "I need help, this is a severe problem and I'm tired of hurting myself and others i love." Get their support and then enter rehab for the drugs and alcohol and participate in a 12 step program like AA and Narcotics Anonymous and get a sponsor who will help you through this. If you want badly to be clean you can do this.
Turning to drugs over booze is not going to help your situation at all. It will be making it worse and perhaps with dangerous results too. It's not an alternative as it will only continue to push you deeper into dispair.
You need to ask for help and let the adults in your life guide you here through this problem. You've made the crucial first step here by seeing you have one now it's time to follow through and admit it to others and get some help. I wish you all the best. If you need further support with this hit my inbox and tell me about your progress.
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