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Break Up
Before me and my Bf started going out, we werent really friends. he was in my group of friends but we never really talked. once we started going out, all we talked about was love-stuff and all i ever found about about him was that he liked me. i asked him if maybe we could talk about normal stuff and we had nothing to say for eachother. and we both kind of stoped liking eachother and we broke up but its what both of us wanted. and now he texted me and were talking about normal stuff and its really nice. ecept usually im a big-time flirt but i dont want to flirt with this guy because i dont want to go out with him again it just wouldent work. and im also afraid to talk to him because im worried i might start to like him again since the main reason we broke up was that we had nothing to say. should i still talk to him? and if i do, what are some things to say because i dont really talk to boys a lot unless im majorly flirting thanx a trillion! sorry this was so long
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Maybe give some free advice about: Love Life?
I know exactly what that's like, to go out with a guy that you can't talk to about... well, about anything. But you should keep talking to him. If you and him start to really talk, and you're getting along well, then you would probably make a great couple. But since it didn't work out too well last time, I wouldn't jump into it too quickly. You should go slowly, and if you find that you really like him, and that you can really talk, then fine, go for it.
And things to talk about? For now, stick to lighter things. Talk about a party that you both were at, or the english test, or whatever. Things that you have in common.
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Wow. First, I am impressed at your level of thinking for such a young woman. You are right to take it slow and to assess yourself as needing to learn how to relate to guys other than flirting. That is a huge step in the right direction just to see yourself in a clear light. Many adults can't even do that, and then they wonder why they keep making the same mistakes over and over, again. This guy obviously is still into you and probably would like to become friends with the potential for more. What great practice for yourself. Flirting is fun, but if you do it all the time, it can be a sign of something more. Many times it is a DEFENSE mechanism. This means that you may be uncertain or unprepared about getting close to someone or being real, so you flirt to distract yourself and them from reality. Flirting can be a lure, but it can equally be a way to put people at a safe distance, because flirting is a game, not a serious way to get to know someone. If it is a habit and you flirt with everyone, that it becomes almost void of any real meaning. That is to say, that when someone special comes along, you will not be able to send the message you are interested if you don't find a way to distinguish how and why your flirt. Pretend this guy is not a guy or was your guy. Pretend he is just a friend and talk how you would to any friend. You may find something to connect with, but more importantly you will be gaining experience in communicating in a direction that you need to grow.
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