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Best Friend Troubles-sorry it's long =]
16/f. I've been best friends with Maria for 3 years. We have an amazing bond, and we're so close. This year, however, we don't have any classes together, so naturally we don't talk as much. We are still just as close though. But there is this girl, Tina. She's been okay friends with us in the past, more so with Maria, but this year they have like 4 classes together. and here's how their relationship is. Tina will go and visit Maria at work for hours. She skips basketball games to go hang out at Marias work in hopes that they will get to talk. She leaves these really long comments on Maria's myspace that are talking about how Maria is the only person that makes Tina happy, and that she appreciates her so much. It's really weird. She always gives Maria these long hugs. She recently came out to both of us as Bisexual. Now, honestly, Maria and I both wonder if Tina has a crush on her.
Now, sometimes I think its ridiculous, but I can't help but get a little jealous. And I think Tina tries to push me out. Like, online, she'll talk to me and say "You know, me and maria really have become close this year. We really are best friends now". And Maria has a note box, and she told me look at the note from a boy she likes, while she was in the shower, and I was looking and couldn't find it, and found one from her and Tina, where Maria told her about her mom cheating on her dad. She said "I'm not going to tell *me* because I just don't ever wanna bring it up again" but I can't help but be hurt that she wouldn't tell me. She also tells Tina things before me, like all about boys she likes and stuff. I know they don't have THAT much talking time in class. It just hurts my feelings.
1. Do you think Tina has a Crush on Maria?
2. What should I do about my jealousy?
Thanks!
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Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Friendship?
if all of a sudden when tina meets maria, she comes out about being bi, then most likely she likes her. plus, spending so much time together and all. i would say that 99.9% sure she likes. her.
about your jealousy, have you tried talking to maria. thats the best way to go about things. almost all the time, it works. just sit her down and talk to her. if your really best friends, then maria will understand and try her hardest to make more time for you or lay off hanging with tina so much.
hope it works out.
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If you want to stay friends with Maria, you need to quit being jealous (because she is allowed to have other friends too, you know) and keep on being nice to her. Invite her places and etc, to maybe limit her time with Tina. I think that Tina DOES have a crush on Maria, but that won't effect anything, since Maria likes guys, right?
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1. i wouldn't know if Tina has a crush on Maria, it could be, or it could be that Maria is a rolemodel for Tina... or perhaps, Tina is confused of her feelings for Maria, if there was a guy that you were aquainted with, and he gave you attention, you might develop a crush on him. it is natural for this to occur. bottom line it is not up to you to decide this, this is something that Tina and Maria must work out on their own... if Tina is clingy and needy for Maria's attention and Maria doesn't mind, or if she does mind is something that she will have to handle, later on you can be the supportive friend.
2. it is hard to cope with jealousy, some grown women still have issues with it... the earlier you learn to cope with it the better off you will be...
i know that it is hard to watch a friend get close to another friend. and in highschool it is very easy to drift apart from someone that you have grown accustom to being close to. but that is how life works... and you should prepare yourself with that reality... though it may be hard, or seem difficult for you i think that the best advice i could give to you now is for you to take this time to make new friends. not only will it show your independence, flexability, and help improve your social capabilities, but it can help you get your mind off jealousy...
and last but not least, don't try to seperate Tina and Maria, you never know, next year you might get a ton of classes with either one of them allowing you to be in the loop once more. and if you have done something to compromise their friendship, and your relationship with them then not only will you lose your friends, but you will have the unfortunate awkwardness of having to be around them...
good luck!
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Okay, when i started Middle School, I was jealous of the girl who was the queen bee at that time, to deal with jealously, match them. Be what you are jealuous of, e-mail be for help at amimileyorhannah@yahoo.com
♥ Love Alicia Valentine
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