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The Jealous Boyfriend
hey everyone...well heres my problem...my boyfriend and i have been dating a little over a year now and things were pretty good...the biggest problem he has with me is that he says i talk to too many guys at my school...we dont go to the same school so hes bothered by it and i understand y...but thats just me and part of my personality...as long as i can remember ive always had a lot of guy friends...now like a month or so ago he wanted to take a break cause hes been busy and he wanted me to change...like not talk to too may guys...we're still faithful to each other but until i stop talking to as much guys as i used to he doesnt wanna get back with me...he wants me to prove to him that i dont talk to as much cause apparently i said i would before but didnt...i dont know how to "prove" to him that i dont and thats the only way hes gonna get back with me...the problem with that is is that he doesnt talk to anyone at my school he doesnt know anyone at my school so i dont exactly know how to prove it...ive been thinking about it for a while now but i just cant think of anything...i already dont talk to as many guys that part doesnt bother me but just to prove it to him...thats what i really really dont know...do you think you could help me find some ways to solve this and possibly help me "prove" to him that i dont anymore...its killing me and i really wanna get back with him id do anything for the relationship...DONT tell me to dump him cause thats now happening...thanks so much....
btw im 17/F
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Without trust, this relationship isn't going to get anywhere. & you need to let him know that. You have been faithful & you don't seem to be mistrusting him around other girls. So if anyone needs to change in this relationship, it's him. If you have never cheated on him or done anything to give him an idea that you were flirting or spending more time with other guys, then he has no reason to not trust you. If he can't learn to trust you, then how is this relationship going to last? Personally, I do not see any harm in simply having a lot of guy friends. You have done nothing wrong, therefore you do not need to prove him anything. Don't shut the world out just because your boyfriend is insecure. Yes, you need to make sacrafices from time to time in a relationship, but you cannot change yourself. This is you & he needs to learn to accept it & grow some trust. Keep reassuring him you are only interested in him. & if he can't handle that, then he obviously can't handle a mature relationship with you.
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Why is it that you are the one who has to change? Why do you have to dump your friends for some guy? Are you supposed to shut yourself into a little box for the rest of your life? I think not.
You say you can't think of anything to prove yourself to him... Maybe because you shouldn't have to?
You say you are faithful, so why doesn't he trust you? The two most important things in any relationship is TRUST and HONESTY. He has no trust in you. Do YOU trust HIM? I imagine you do, or you wouldn't be so willing to give up on yourself for him. Why can't he give you the same respect?
If you change who you are for this guy, he is asking you to be fake. Why would you want to be that way? Why would he want you to be that way, for that matter?
But if you think this is something you HAVE to do, go ahead. But I'm going to tell you what- prepare to have him mistrust you for something different in the future, and make you change some more in order to keep him around. He needs to accept you for who you are, not what he wants you to be. You are not a puppy on a leash to come, sit, stay, roll over at his command.
A guy being a little jealous is flattering. A guy being this jealous should be insulting.
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