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child behaviour
my only child is 2.5years old.i am from india and a housewife.she has recently begun to exhibit her temper tantrums by shrieking if she is told to do smthing against her wish and not listen even if we make her lovingly understand.she does not like to talk to any outsider and even with her dad.her only attachment is with me and always clings to me on every outing.she makes a lot of fuss in everyhing from brushing to sleeping at night.if scolded she hides herself.otherwise she is quite sensitive and curious.she has no good child of her age to play with and the neighbour's son of 3 yrs bullies her. what is the problem here?
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Don't worry, you're both going through the 'terrible two's'. She has suddenly become aware of the world and it's a pretty scary place. You represent security and stability in her world as you are there all the time, and if her dad works, she won't usually have that same attachment for him.
As she has limited language, the most effective way she has of expressing herself and trying to get what she wants is in a tantrum. She has learned that she gets attention in this way. At that age any attention is good, even if it's a telling off. You could try ensuring she is safe and then let her get on with it. Don't let her know you are keeping an eye on her, if she thinks she does not have an audience she should stop. She is also going to learn from the way that you deal with her demands, so you will need to stay calm and explain to her what is happening, and try to remain consistant.
Shyness is quite natural as well, especially if she doesn't mix often with others of her age. See if there are any playgroups near you so that she learns to interact with others. The earlier this is done the better she will be able to cope with the world when she is older.
She sounds an intelligent child so she will want to find answers to everything. This can be encouraged in learning games. Energetic games have the advantage of tiring her so that less energy is put into the tantrums. Outings can be made into games as well, so if she is having fun, eg. in a safe area, by racing you to the next tree, lamp post, bench etc, this should distract her enough to forget about clinging to you. Try not to be worried about this behaviour, children are amazingly good at picking up on parental anxieties.
As for the boy next door, if he isn't helping her to develop and is actually holding her back, stop them being together. If possible, have a word with his mother, she may not be aware that there is a problem. As he is a little older than her, and a boy, he is probably just trying to exert some authority over her, but due to inexperience, it comes across as bullying.
I hope that is of some help, if you need any more, let me know, and good luck.
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I've heard, and it makes sense to me, that the first step to stopping a tantrum is acknowledging it.
Basically, if the child throws a tantrum because she wants a cookie, say "You want that cookie, don't you? Yeah, you really want the cookie." It sounds silly, but it lets the child know that you understand what she's trying to get across. At that point, it's easier to say no.
She does sound very shy. Are there any groups around for parents of young children? I know you said there aren't children her age to play with, but perhaps you haven't explored all your options?
You might want to try gradual independence. Promise her you'll be back soon, but leave her with her dad and take a five-minute walk around the block. When she sees that you come back like you say you will, it will help her gain confidence in you, and in her ability to cope without her.
Of course, I'm not a parent, and most of this comes from tv shows, but it makes logical sense to me as to why it would work.
Good luck.
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Hi,
Well your child sounds like a pretty normal two and a half year old to me!! I certainly don't have children of my own but I do have two younger sisters, one is much younger and I have seen the exact same behaviour in both of them at around that age I can assure you! As for the shyness' I don't really thing shyness in children especially younger ones is a problem, the problems come if it continues in to teenage years and adulthood. I was a very very shy child and I don't mind telling you I'm anything but shy now! As for the little monster next door it should be easy enough (with her at 2.5 and him at 3) to just make sure they have no contact what-so-ever.
Good luck and take care!
Chan.
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shes only 2.5 yrs old.little kids are like that.as for the little kid who bullies her id just keep that child away from her. she might cling to you because your her mother and a female or it might even be because shes around you the most.she could also be a little on the shyside but shes only 2.5 years old just because shes fussy now doesnt mean shell always be. maybe shes having nightmares or scared of something during the night time. if shes throwing a fit during brushing maybe shes tender headed. most kids her age are curious because there still new to the world. keep in mind that its not like shes 6 or 7 years old shes only 2.5.you dont think anybodys did anything to harm her when your not around do you?sometimes kids act funny when that happens to but if your positive no one has then i think its just because of how young she is and shell grow out of it.
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