about

Hi,
When it comes to giving advice and sorting out sticky situations I have experience!! For many years all my friends have called me their 'agony aunt' and I always seem to be the one they confide in and come to for advice. Now I want to do the same for you! When it comes to giving advice though I always think of one of my favourite quotes 'I am not a teacher, I'm just the fellow traveller that you happened to ask the way' - the way I see it we're all in this together (life that is!) And we should be looking after each other and helping out however we can. I will talk about anything and don't mind getting personal. I always tell you the truth about what I really think!!

Talk Soon, Take Care
Chandler xxx

P.S. If you have a question you don't want to appear on this website email it to be at owenchandlerdunn@aol.co.uk or owenchandlerdunn@hotmail.co.uk

advice

how can i hide my anorexia from my parents?

Hi huny,

I'm sorry to say I'm not going to answer the question you asked and I can be certain not one advisor on this site will give you hints on how to hide anorexia. This site is about helping people and that certainly wouldn't be helping you.

What you need to do is talk to some one, tell them about how you are feeling and what you are going through and let them help you. I do understand that you are certain in your own mind that the only help you need is that of loosing weight and hiding your problems from your parents but pleas trust me (and every other columnist who I'm sure will be saying the same things to you) that that's not the help you need.

It will take a lot of courage from you to seek help and let people know what's going on but I have total confidence that you are brave enough to do it! And it doesn't have to be your parents or a family member that you talk to.

I think you've taken the first step by posting your question on hear because really I don't think you wanted any one to tell you how to hide your anorexia but to help you do something about it and get help and for that I say well done! Don't put it off do something now before the problem gets worse.

If you need to talk I'm hear - and if you want to email me the address is:
owenchandlerdunn@aol.co.uk

Best of luck, take care

Chandler
XXXX

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15/f

When a guy asks you to see a movie, does that necessarily mean it is a date? What if he is bringing one of his friends but doesn't care if you bring someone?

I suppose I am going to get different answers, but I'm sure there must be a way to figure it out.

Thanks! =)

Hi hun,

Yea - two ways to figger it out, one ask him and two wait and see what happens and how things go! If the guy considers it a date or not very much depends on him individually but if there was only the two of you going its more than likely a date!
My advice? - don't worry about what things are or aren't just go with the flow and have fun! Let me know how things go.
Chan
XXX

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16/f
Me and my friend, lets call him chester, always fight. Like we are in fights every other week, or last year we where. The last time we had gotten into a fight was in august.

We are yet again in another fight. I dont think he cares about our friendship. I talked to him the other day and told him what was bothering me and all. Then he said he had to go.

The next day i asked him where that left us? if we where friends, not friends, or whatever. And he said "idk i dont have answers only ears"

I really dont know if i want to try to be friends anymore.

Im the one who always tries to fix our fights, im the one who starts to talk to him. It just feels like he doesnt care and i dont know what i should do.

Any ideas?

Hiya,
I consider myself immensely lucky to have the best friends any one could ever wish for (and I tell them that all the time) and to be honest your 'friendship' with this guy doesn't seem to be much of a friendship to me. To be honest it seems to me that you have put in 100% effort to sorting it out and he has put in none. You have done all you can, you can't do any more. If he values your friendship he will make the effort and come after you and if he doesn't he was never a real friend anyway. Try not to let it upset you and stick around your friends who treat you better than Chester
Chan
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We are going to have an Oregon-Oxford debate for one class and that's our topic. I'm for the birth control side. Meaning, having [premarital] sex is okay for as long as you use birth control methods(be it artificial or natural). I'm so sure that the opposition(Abstinence) will read us some biblical stuff and will probably tell us that no contraceptive is 100% effective.

Pleeeeease give me good and strong answers to these stuff because I (and my group) don't wanna look like a fool in front of everyone.

Hi,
God I could not take part in that debate, as I would quite simply end up strangling to death every last one of the deluded, brainwashed, bible bashing, moronic, stupid a**wholes!! (I make no apology what-so-ever to any person who takes offence at my description, as it is entirely true). It would be impossible to bring these people into the real world with the rest of us as they have (in all seriousness) been systematically brainwashed from birth and they will do the same with their children and so the vicious circle goes on. Personally I think people like that serve no useful purpose other than to waste valuable oxygen!!!! The very best of luck with the debate and pleas make sure you let me know how it goes.

Chan.
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My boyfriend is significantly older then I am.

:] Well let me start by saying that I do have a great relationship with my boyfriend. He's my best friend and he makes me extremely happy most of the time.

The problem is he makes me feel so bad. He says that I don't let him see his friends enough. Whenever we rarely hang out on weekdays, and yes, we do hang out on weekends only because we're both so busy any other time. =[

So, tonight he came over because I cooked my family dinner and everything was going well. Until he got a call from his roommate who said they were going to have a party. The guy who was going to be there always has weed & stuff and the only time my boyfriend ever gets high is when he's there.

That's when I went into a serious girlfriend mode and started telling him he couldn't do it, otherwise I'd be mad. Then he started complaining about how I always make him feel guilty & never let him hang out with friends.

What can I do to make this whole situation better? But, still be with him at the same time?

HI,
Well I don't think your unreasonable or in the wrong for not wanting your boyfriend to smoke weed and get high!!! And to be 100% truthful I couldn't be in a relationship with someone who did that.

Relationships are all about balance, its important you want to spend time with your boyfriend / girlfriend and that you are like you say 'best friends' or a least 'good friends' but people also need space or they feel trapped and suffocated and when people stat to feel like that they run a mile in the opposite direction.

You need an honest conversation with your boyfriend and an honest conversation with your self. Calmly explain to him how you feel and listed as he does the same. Compromise and mutual understanding is what is needed. Ultimately if your boyfriend can't cope with that or can't understand, to quote a good friend of mine: 'no matter who much you love and care for some one if its not going anywhere and its not going to work you get out and move on!' hopefully this won't be the case with you and your boyfriend and you will be able to sort it out but you need to have that conversation ASAP. And if I where you I would say the smoking weed stops because I do not want to be with some one who does that and associates with people like that!!

Good luck and let me know how it all goes
Chan.
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my only child is 2.5years old.i am from india and a housewife.she has recently begun to exhibit her temper tantrums by shrieking if she is told to do smthing against her wish and not listen even if we make her lovingly understand.she does not like to talk to any outsider and even with her dad.her only attachment is with me and always clings to me on every outing.she makes a lot of fuss in everyhing from brushing to sleeping at night.if scolded she hides herself.otherwise she is quite sensitive and curious.she has no good child of her age to play with and the neighbour's son of 3 yrs bullies her. what is the problem here?

Hi,
Well your child sounds like a pretty normal two and a half year old to me!! I certainly don't have children of my own but I do have two younger sisters, one is much younger and I have seen the exact same behaviour in both of them at around that age I can assure you! As for the shyness' I don't really thing shyness in children especially younger ones is a problem, the problems come if it continues in to teenage years and adulthood. I was a very very shy child and I don't mind telling you I'm anything but shy now! As for the little monster next door it should be easy enough (with her at 2.5 and him at 3) to just make sure they have no contact what-so-ever.
Good luck and take care!
Chan.
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I've been having this problem...and it's the fact that I strive to be a perfectionist...I don't WANT to be...But I feel like I have to be. I get straight A's, kiss up to teachers, ALWAYS do my work and turn things in. I never skip any assignments...but I've been wondering lately...is it bad to overwork yourself? I mean...I've already done so much. And I haven't been getting enough sleep either :(...I don't know what I'm doing wrong...I can't quit getting good grades...but I'm sick of my head being so messed up. I feel as if school is taking a part of me away...I have ABSOLUTELY NO time on my hands to do ANYTHING...I haven't been to the mall in AGES! ;_; :(...What should I do?

YES! You are. There will be plenty of people desperate to tell you how important school and getting good grades is but what I'm telling you is that you only live once and life is for having fun! So give your self a break and get out with your friends. I'm a firm believer that there is nothing more important in life than your friends. Go and enjoy your self!!
Chan.
xx

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