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Anger Control
13/f
hey...i have a question. I am a really outgoing person and really nice to everyone. Soemtimes though, i get really mad over little things cry from it. I later realise how small it was. I get moodswings alot and really angry sometimes. I cut myslef sometimes when im REALLY upset but not always. I just wanted to know from ANYONE how can i deal with my temper? When im mad what can i do? I either punch the wall or break something and i know thats not right. I take a deep breath and count to 10 but that doesnt work. I tried writing it down on paper but im afraid my mom will find it because she always gos through my room. I get depressed Sometimes and i really dont want to go to a doctor about it or anything because true say, the problem is usually small. Can anyone tell me a way to control this anger?
Please and thanks alot
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wow. You sound exactly like me and your almost my age.
Everything you typed there is what i went through.
Eventually my mother made me goes to a psycharatrist. And i hated it.
The reason my mother said i hated it was because she said i had to actually face what i had done.
Then my mother when into a session with me and the psycharatrist and the talked and i sat quietly trying to not pay attention. Then she said that if i ever get too out of control again(like punching holes in walls, breaking things, etc) to call the police.
That really made me be good. So in the end the 'talks' with the psycharatrist and everything else didn't work. It was kinda like i felt threatened and i didn't want to have to go through that embarrassment and be checked into the hospital for a night. so i quickly started acting nice. lol. i know sound odd but hey, its what worked. Also after a week of me being nice, they when over my 'behavoir patterns' and thought that i might be bipolar. so they gave me a pill that worked but then it had weird side affects so i got off it.
so think about it and if you want ask your mother about you going to a psycharatrist or the fact that you may be bipolar. you never know.
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I understand the anger issue. beleive me, I've had my fair share of outburts! my guess is that your under a lot of stress maybe more than you even relize and thats whats causing this. if not, there may be a deeper issue, in which case you should probably get checked out, even though you don't want to. its as easy as going to the school nurse and your mom dosn't even have to know about it. i get that you don't want to see a doctor though, i felt the same way about depression and anger...i just wanted answers, not some person in a white coat analyzing me.So we'll leave that as a last resort. For me, when i feel an out burst coming (fyi: this sounds ridiculous but really does work!), i imagine myself petting a cat or dog,just an animal that i really love. It works because it helps to lower your blood pressure,which helps to calm you down long enough to get a grip. i get why the breathing thing dosen't work. having to breath hard with something that feirce running through your body is just a sucky technique becasue it almost makes you hypervenilate,which makes you freak out, which adds to the feeling of anger. try the petting thing and if you want something else,scream into your pillow...again sounds stupid,but you'd be surprised how easy it is and how much better you feel. i'm going to say something becasue i truley want to help you and I hope you'll listen...DO NOT CUT YOURSELF!! Beleive me, depression is hard enough without adding wounds. They just hurt and don't solve anything! There are far better ways to take care of this than by cutting! Thats not healthy, and i know what your thinking, its too hard to stop but if you do i promise it'll be that much eaiser to control what you're feeling! trust me! I only want to help! Don't fuel the anger. Let me know how it goes!
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If you are concerned that you should see a doctor about depression, don't hesitate. It may go away in time, but it may get worse.
As for your temper- you say you hit walls and such. Does that make you feel better? Try to get yourself some boxing gloves and a punching bag. That way you can vent your anger in a way that isn't harmful to you. Plus it would be a great work out for you.
If you can't get these items, go to a gym or rec center that has gym equipment.
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I understand where you're coming from,I used to cut myself as well, but I realized that in the long run, that wasn't really helping. I really needed to find a way to vent(a healthy way).I do a numerous of things:Crying helps(lots of crying).It feels like you're letting everything out.I run everyday, so when I'm running I try to solve the problems in my head(even the little stuff).Over and over again, I think about why that little thing set me off.Also I scream, as loud as I can(If you could find someplace where no one will hear you, or barely will be able to hear you, so they don't call the police).Listening to music that makes you feel happy, in love, something like that always helps.Basically you have to find that one thing or person that you can escape to when you feel like there's nothing else to be here for.Hope I helped.....<3Potential.
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hey yah im thirteen to and i have the same problem, i told my mom about it but i was scared she would flip out, but she didnt she was rilly comforting about it and took me to a therapist, and its helped alot, they put me on pills, and told me new technics to calm down .
so i think you should tell yer mom and ask to see a therapist .
hope i helped .
<3
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