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Mixed feelings. Really long story.
Alright so lately, I guess you could say that things have been a little chaotic. My sister recently got in trouble for a for a minor crime, plus she's going to college soon. My mom is flipping out and I know she has a reason to because my sister isn't the best student and she did get in trouble with the law. But I think that my mom is blowing it way out of preportion. Everytime she sees my sister, she starts yelling at her and freaking out, and not only is my sister affected by it, I am too. I'm not the one who's in trouble but I feel like I am because of all the yelling. But you have to know that my mom seems to always overanalyze things; for example I tried out for a solo in dance and didn't get it, so I was like okay whatever it's alright but when I told my mom, she's all like "Don't complain about geez it's alright" and she seemed like she was mad at me, but the thing is, I wasn't whining about it at ALL and everytime I see her she brings it up. It was me who didn't make the dance solo, not her, and it's like she can't let go of anything, and everytime I do say "Okay mom, please stop tyalking about it, it's over" she doesn't listen because she's so stubborn and keeps going on and on about how it's okay that I didn't make it and she starts complaing to me about my sister and starts, like, trashing my dad... so I finally lose my temper and yell at her to stop... and then she just stops talking and says "I always lsiten to your problems, and it's mean that I can't talk to you, sometimes I want someone to talk to, too." SO then I start feeling horrible that I'm not letting my mom vent to me when she's done so much for me and has helped me and ahhh idk I have mixed feeling about this. My question is, how can I calmly and rationally tell my mom that I'm not my sister and I didn't get in trouble so she can stop talking about it to me and stop talking about my dad? I mean I don't mind talking to her but sometimes she just doesn't STOP and I have to do my homework and stuff but she's still talking... ahhh please help. :( I'd really appreciate it. And sorry this is really, really long.
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omgsh im soo sorrry! my family has HORRRIBLE PROBLEMS to!!! like my brother and sister have gotten themselves into trouble and my mom tells me every last thing about it and i just wanna be like please dont tell me this i dont wanna want to no. she also says some bad things about my dad sometimes. so i no how you feel. so yah kkayy ... about your question i would just kinda get a time when shes in a really good mood and just sit down with her one on one and ask her please mom i didnt get it to trouble my sister did so please can u not take it out on me anymore and please stop talking about dad that way hes my dad and i love him so i dont like hearing all this bad stuff about him. and yes i no u need someone to talk to but can you please like talk to dad or like to one of your other friends instead of making me feel like im the one in trouble for it all. i really dont want you to be mad and i love you but im tired of hearing it and it stresses me out!just kinda say stuff like that to make her feel a little bit bad about it but not like horrible.
im really sorry and i hope i helped you =]]
♥ ashley
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ahhh,right when i read this about the mom and complaining thing,i know EXACTLY how you feel!well at least the part with the complaining. the difference is its my brother,and my moms boyfriend. i used to yell at her about it too. I really think your mom wants you to have a better future than hers,and your sisters. she's in a way being over protective. saying "dont complain its alright" -- that just really seems like shes talking to herself more than shes talking to you. the more you yell,the more she gets angry and complains even MORE. its really annoying,but you just gotta talk to her for a bit then change the subject. if she says "dont go and change the subject" or anything negative,just say you want to talk abut positive things for once. and every so often you should do things for her,she'd really appreciate it-- even though it might not look it. just flat out tell her, mom im not my sister,i know right and wrong, and i know where im going in life. well,im glad i got the chance to answer this! i hope i helped!
xkisakissx
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maybe you can write her a note or something. then you wont be tempted to yell at her and make sure you can everything out on paper. instead of accusing her right away, just say, "I feel that..." that way she wont feel that you are against her. i hope that i helped you out. =]
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