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no sisterly love
I get absolutely no respect from my younger sister. We are only one year apart (I am 16; she's 15). All she does is give me smartass comments when I try to be nice or give her reasonable advice on something (when she asks for it). She never mentions me to her friends. Her friends don't even know I exist. She doesn't mention me on Myspace. She is always claiming to everyone we are not even sisters and deletes all of my comments. I am always seeing sisters saying "I love my sister even though we get those fights". I wish my sister would do something like that, ya know? Like I want her to be proud I am her sister, but she is embarrassed of me. She also says rude remarks to me when she is around friends.
Also when we get into fights my parents tend to take her side over mine (ironic because I am older than her) and I will admit I can start it and make up ways to aggravate her (but who doesn't do that?) however she does the same thing but it's always her word over mine. There are times my parents either stay neutral or take my side but it just always seems that my sister is "better" than me.
She also shows no expression of love for me (as sisters, of course). I will say "I love you!" and she will just say "OK, so?" And it hurts me so much. I can't even answer to myself that she even really does love me deep down because she gives out no emotion towards me except such hatred and angst. She is a tomboy so I guess that explains some of it, but I wish she would be more open and more respestful towards me. I am not asking for total worship or anything, but I am asking that she would be more respective and nice.
I need advice on how I can deal with this! Thanks.
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It's obvious your slightly maturer than your sister.But she's just like a "teenager" , like those "typical ones" if you know what I mean
-stroppy
-no compassion
-moody
-dont care Am I right??
Just leave her alone and get on with YOUR life.She will miss you aggrovating her or whatever and it will make her think "she's so mature".Also, giving her space gives her time to be herself and relfect.She needs space.I have a sister, and I know what it's like.She already knows you're there for her, but she just dosnt want to let you know she actually cares.It is normal but she probarbly feels itimidated or something as your older and being mean to you around your friends in natural too, even though it is mean.
Your always letting her know how much you love her but you never tell her when you're feeling low.Next time an arguement appears, tell exactly what you want to say.Don't hold back.Saying whats on your mind may hurt her, but will make her see what shes been doing.Or just tell you're mother how you are feeling.Mums do the trick.
Please tell me how everything goes
Sadie
xxx
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There are some things you may not have considered here. First of all, is she normally moody and difficult in general? Her attitude can be influenced by puberty and mood swings. A lot of young people can be quite surly for no reason because of hormonal changes.
Secondly, people show love and respect in different ways. She might be the kind of person who does not show it outwordly but feels it inside. She probably finds it weird that you always seek a compliment, respect, attention when she wants to give you a silent nod or show it to you in a different manner.
It's not that she does not love or respect you. She probably does but you're always seeking that comment etc is what is making her annoyed. I'm being brutally honest here even if is not what you want to hear as it's the truth.
The thing about Myspace is a non-issue. A lot of people do not mention their siblings, parents, etc on Myspace and it does not mean she loves you less etc. She has her friends, you have yours and her Myspace account will reflect that. she may be angry over the comments because you posted several rather than one or two here and there.
She is not embarassed over you and the fights are normal and parents will always take the youngest's side because the oldest is supposed to be the one who should know better than to continue a fight she may have started.
I think she is respectful of you but you may not see it as people don't have to hug or say how much they love one another in a family just to feel it.
You need to deal with your insecurities here and why you feel she must always say "I love you" or show respect. Nothing here illustrates disrepect or her being embarassed of you. There's a problem here and it's not really about her.
It's about you always needing this kind of attention to feel accepted even if you truly are by others. What's causing that fear in you? As long as you give your sister some space, privacy (especially online) things will go well.
As far as friends go and never mentioning you most people do not mention siblings at all unless they introduce their friends to them. Your sister probably just has her group of pals and you have yours. That's all it is.
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me and my youngest sister had that same problem. when you grow older you tend to realize how important siblings are. but when you're younger you don't really see that. its as if your sister/brother is just there to annoy you and aggravate you and make your life a living hell.
but you should definitely talk to her about it, and if you dont think she'll listen, then tell your parents and they could talk to her about it, or sit down as a family and discuss it together.
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