|
what to do bout my man?
okay well it's kinda complicated but i'll try to explain the important facts. the guy i am with is the MOST wonderful guy, and i mean it. we will be getting married soon, and i really want that more than anything. today people brought up some things he's done in the past, before i knew him. nothing horrible, but they were tryna tell me that he is a bad guy. and it was one of his ex's also, but i don't know if i should listen to her bout it. anywayz, i don't want to talk to him bout the things cuz it was in his past, before we met, and i don't think i have should inquire bout it cuz it was before i knew him. and yesterday he found out that one of his ex's is getting married, and he really had a thing for her, so it brought up past memories for him, and he said "please don't ever run out on me" and i told him i wouldn't. and i meant it. but what should i do about the things people have been telling me? should i ask him bout it or just leave it? thank you
[ ]
Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Love Life?
heyy...firstly, congrats on your soon-to-happen wedding<3 and secondly, i believe you need to ask him everything now because if some situations about his past come up after you wedding then it would be a bigger problem. Its the time now to ask him everything and get everything off your chest. You will feel better getting it all out before your wedding other then carrying it over to your new life. I hope i helped you and I wish you luck for your wedding day<3
]
I know that you don't want to talk to him about it, but that is you best bet. If you want all the facts straight and don't want to hear what ever they said in your head get it cleared up. Honesty and Love are key to marriage. Get everything off yall chests now before yall are married and everything comes out then and then all hell breaks lose
briana
]
If the things you are hearing are things that could crop up again in your life together then you should certainly inquire about them. These are things like abuse, addiction, family illness or feuds. These things might be in the past, but are no small matters, and their effects can be felt for decades.
It’s also very important to know how your partner perceives those sorts of issues. For instance: If someone says “Yeah I used to drink until I passed out every night, but I never really had a problem.” or “Yeah, I cheated on my last three girlfriends, but it’s just because they were so cold to me.” then you know they don’t really understand or appreciate what happened actually happened or how responsible they are for it.
Failing to appreciate and learn from one’s mistakes is the sort of thing that should set off warning bells in your mind. Everyone makes mistakes; it is the people who are incapable of learning or changing that you need to be wary off.
There is no good reason for you not to ask about things that might come back to haunt him: If you are marrying him, they will haunt you too.
Now if his ex and such are just nitpicking about “Oh well, this one night he got really drunk and made a racist comment to my granddad.” Meh, just ignore their meddlesome nattering. But if what they have to say leaves you worried and with questions for your boyfriend, ask those questions now! Not after you’ve sworn to be with him forever.
]
More Questions: |