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baby's father wants to name my baby after female friend
I just got hit with a shock today. I am 61/2 months pregnant and my baby's father just told me that he wants to name our daughter after his best friend. I was upset because she is sort of the reason we broke up. I had just found out I was pregnant last summer and while we were having problems his best friend, 8 montns pregnant at the time and married was coming to visit him from out of state for the week end. I asked him if I could meet her and he accused me of being jealous and broke up with me. We had broken up a couple of weeks prior to that because we were initially going to have an abortion. We had a miscarriage back in april and he didn't want to be disappointed again. We were actually fighting about him not going with me to the procedure. We then got back together 4 days later and decided to keep the baby. Then we broke up again because of the reason mentioned earlier in this message. We fought for over a month about things with the pregnancy and everything. Then we finally worked through some things and it was decided that we would see where things go between us. Things are the same as before we broke up only he no longer tells me he loves me anymore. I will admit I was jealous when I first became pregnant but when I asked to meet his best friend I was really trying to be a good sport, figuring this was his best friend and I had hoped that extending my understanding for the situation that maybe he would see I was trying . When he broke up with me instead I was devastated. We made a deal because this is his only child, I have 4 others, that he would get to name the baby. We just found out we are having a girl yesterday and today he hit me with this. I have to admit I lost my cool. I see it as naming my daughter after someone who unknowingly had everything to do with our break up. I also feel a little hurt that his reaction for me wanting to meet this person is the reason we broke up. We fought about this back and forth today. I ended up recognizing that a deal is a deal.I agreed to name the baby according to his choice. He wouldn't even try to come up with any other girl names. He told me if I didn't agree to it then he wasn't naming the baby and he placed that responsibility in my hands. I didn't want that. I just wanted him to understand that it made me feel really hurt that he wasn't thinking about how I would feel about naming my daughter after her. Whenever we argue we often fight about how unreasonable he was for breaking up with me because I wanted to meet his friend. Even though that woman didn't mean to come between us, even though she is married with a family of her own, I still feel betrayed by this whole situation. He says I am being silly. I don't know about that. I feel like the man I love is asking me to agree to name his daughter after a woman who means more to him than I do. What should I do?He also informed me today that she will be coming to visit before I have the baby and will be around when the baby is born, he claims she is bringing her husband this time but I don't know what to feel. I think it is more apporpriate for her to come after we have the baby. This is our time. Coming to see the baby is one thing but coming before and staying until I have the baby makes me kind of angry. She has had kids before so you would think she can respect the situation. I would think my baby's father would understand that part too. If I have to name my baby after this woman I feel my birthing experience should be as I see fit. Please tell me if I am doing the right thing here or not.
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It's your baby, it's comming outta you. Don't let ur child's name remind you if a hard time in your life.
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You are doing the right thing. This is your baby, not his. I honestly don't think hes ready to be a father, as he is being immature about the whole situation from what I understand. Honestly, you are going to love this baby, and give your full attention to it. But can you imagine thinking 10 years later, when you say lets say, the girls name was cindy. "Cindy, Time for Breakfast!!" You're going to be thinking of that girl. Do what you think is right. Nobody will make a better descision but you.
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You have a pretty good point going there.
Honestly, if I were him, I'd tell him to put up or shut up.
I'm not exactly a radical feminist but I do think that mothers should get a lot more say when it comes to their baby than the father. If he was lugging it around for nine months and forcing it out of his vagina, he has the right to name the baby after his pet bunny and have a nascar-themed baby shower thrown for him.
The period of your pregnancy is -your- time. Everything should be according to your comfort level. If you're going to be the mother of his child, he should learn to respect that.
As for the woman, write her a note, give her a phone call, send her anything to tell her that you would appreciate it if she holds out her visit until later.
Hell, I don’t know about you, but I’d probably stick an ultimatum to him. Either be there by himself and come up with a compromise-name for the baby or have a nice little visit with the woman and her family while you’re having his baby 300 miles away and bear with the name you come up with.
I’m sure he’ll come around once he realizes he may have to start introducing his kid as Flowing River Graceful.
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You are doing the right thing here.
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