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my divorced parents...
ok, i have to go through a bit of my past for you to help me with this so here goes...
my parents have been divorced since i was about 2-3, my mom has full costody of me. i'm now 15/f and my name is Alyssa (ya it's me again, you were really helpfull wiht my other subject so ya) my mom has always been there for me, always kept me safe, although a little strict. i have a 15min phone limit, i have to be in bed by 10 (i'm not complaining about that one) i can't be out past 8, i can't be out past 5 with my boyfriend. my mom and i have a close relationship, but sometimes she gets mad at me and it makes me want to hit something ( i never do) for lack of other ways to release my emotions. my dad is an alcohalic, but he has been sober for 3-4 year now. he can be perswasive (he can get just about anyone to do just about anything) and he used to scare me when he was drunk. he never hit me, don't worry. i get to see my dad every second weekend and just about every thrusday and sunday for a couple of hours. also, i promised my mom when i was young that i would never go and live with my dad, because of all the things he had done in the past..(when he was drunk, he threatened to give me up for addoption to my step dad) but that was when he was drinking. he also has a girlfriend now that keeps him in line and they plan on moving in together in the spring..
now here is my delema..i want to live with my dad..and my mom..my mom won't go for joing custody (when i asked i got a very long lecture) and i don't want to brake my mom's heart..but i've been living with my mom for almost 13 years that i can remember, and i wan't to spend more time with my dad...what do i do? please help me...
p.s. my mind tells me to live with my mom, but it also sais that dad deserves more time with me..and so does my heart i think...
thanks
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First off, thanks for coming back to me for advice, it gives me that warm fuzzy feelin' inside lol j/k BUT it does make me smile! I can so relate to you dilemma! The only way I can help you is to give you the facts and give my opinion, so here goes. By state law if you want to live with your dad, at the age of 10 the child get's to make that decision. NOT THE PARENTS (unless the child doesn't care)So, if you want to live with your dad, your mom can't stop you. Now I know you wouldn't want it to come to that, being your mom and you are so close, so I would advice taking a different route. Talk to your dad first, let him know you want to live with him, and make sure he is totalll ok with it, then write your mom a letter. (Parent's usually "listen" more to a letter) Tell her you love her and although you want to stay with your dad for a while, it won't change the relationship you and her have now. Tell her it's not permanent (that might help her) and that you were blessed with having her in your life all these years and that now, you want to get to know that dad you never really knew. It she still forbids it and you still want to live with your dad that bad, then it's time for court. Your dad can fight her for joint custody and he will win as long as you are there saying you want to live with him. Best of Luck to you and I hope things turn out exactly the way you want them too. xoxo- Kristen
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