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what do i do?
i am a really nice person and i don't understand why so many people are mean to me...i mean i am really quiet and i don't bother nobody!
there is this person who is constantly putting me down and really hurting my feelings...i try not to let anybody know how bad he's hurting me....but it's really getting to me. you would think he would say it to my face instead of other people. i mean the stuff he is saying hurts me soo much....i'd rather be beaten physically than to have something killing me from the inside this much....
i really don't know what to do i just know i feel really bad about what's going on....espeacially when me and that particular person don't even know each other.....not to mention when he starts putting me down so does everyone else....
i know most people are going to say talk to him....but that's not an option...because if i talk to him i am probably going to get violent...because i am sick of this.
this is really really tearing me apart and i know you shouldn't let words bother you but after a while they began to really get to you and tear at you...what do i do?
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Maybe give some free advice about: Mental health?
what you gotta do is tell yourself you are not going to put up with him talking about you. show him that your not afraid of him and what he is saying is not hurting you. ignore him, dont get on his level. you should be smarter than him. laugh at him. he will get it that its not bothering you. dont look all sad when hes messing with you. just keep on smiling dont let someone like that put you down. talk to the school counceler if he threatens you, also tell your parents. maybe it will be better to switch schools, start over, and make new friends. if you need anymore help u can talk to me whenever. i will try and help as much as possible
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they pick on you because you're making yourself an easy target. The quiet ones are always the easiest to put down because they dont FIGHT BACK.
I'm not saying physically fight back. But let people know that you're not gonna take this kind of harrassment.
and try to make more friends. If you have friends around you, you won't be so insecure and easily targetted. Bullies look for loners also.
You'll gain confidence by not hiding and the confidence will make it so if they still bully you, the words won't hurt as much.
I hope i helped. I went through this too and just follow my advice and you'll be as happy as i am now. =]
Good luck
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well you see i had the same problem...i'm really quiet to. That is the main reason they pick on you is because they don't think you will say something back nad to make them selves feel better about themselves speak up for yourself. you don't have to confront him but whenevr he says something just speak up and don't let him out you down. Violence isn't the best answer but if he get violen t with you i suggest you start swingin. That is what i had planned on doin but all i had to do was speak up for myself and then he stopped picking on me.
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The reason why people pick on other people is to feel better about themselves. You're absolutely right, violence would only make things worse. This guy doesn't deserve your attention. Actually, he might enjoy it! So do your best to ignore his provocations. Chances are, he will get bored eventually. Let this unfair treatment motivate you to be better than those people who are mean to you. And remember... be proud of being better than them! A little aloofness can come in handy (of course, only with the people who are rude to you! Be the same kind and sincere person with everyone else.)
What's more difficult to control is the way you feel when being treated this way. I understand you can't just tell yourself not to feel bad about it. One good thing you could do is talk to a teacher, counselor or some other adult whose opinion you appreciate. Another good thing is spending time with people you love and who really care about you. Always try to focus on all the positive things in your life. That should make those negative emotions weaker and, hopefully, they will be gone eventually.
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Oi, I can totally sympathise--I was in essentially the same position during middle school and somewhat in early high school as well. Unfortunately, I took little action.
First of all, there's strength in numbers. Is there anyone else who's also treated poorly whom you could buddy up with, or at least befriend? In grade nine, there was a new girl in my class who wasn't treated well at all and we ended up hitting it off, making it a little harder for either of us to be attacked.
Talking to your guidance counsellor and teachers might help a bit, but obviously they can't (and won't) do much, the majority of the time.
I totally understand not wanting to talk to him, and I don't think you should. It would probably just let him know that what he's doing is working.
If it doesn't stop, you can at least help control the emotional damage outside of school. Join clubs you're interested in, or volunteer--you'll run into other sorts of people who share the same interests. If you're lucky, you'll see those same people at school and they'll stick up for you.
I know it might feel horrible, but try and remember that it's not personal. He's treating you like dirt because he feels better when he does it.
And I know a lot of what I've said here has been said to death on tv and in magazines and that it's only helpful to a certain degree.
But really, when you're in such a horrid situation (and it is horrid, don't doubt that), there's a limit to what you can do to make people change how they treat you.
One thing I wish I'd done was stand up for myself a bit more. It's hard, and you can't always do it, but when you can, do. Even if you can raise an eyebrow or pretend it doesn't hurt--pretend that you think it's absolutely ridiculous and childish. When I started doing that, it had waned somewhat, but they seemed to get the hint.
I wish I had something concrete to say that would fix everything, but bullying situations, especially verbal bullying, are not easy to deal with.
One other thing to remember--as long as it may seem, these people will grow up or move away. They won't be in your life forever. So don't give up hope. Find things you love doing, try and find friends, and try not to let them triumph over you.
And most of all? Don't beat yourself up over any of this. Don't beat yourself up over it happening, or over you letting it bother you. It isn't your fault, and it isn't fair.
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Hello,
You have quite a problem. First, I think that you should talk to the guidance counselors at your school. They keep what you say confidential, but they could offer you good advice. If there are no guidance counselors, talk to your parents, or if you do not feel comftorable with that, talk to an adult you trust - like a priest at a church, teacher from an old school, coach, etc.
You also should walk around with a lot of confidence. Hold your head up high, and keep your shoulders and back straight. Do not cross your arms, walk with them at your side. If you act like you have confidence, eventually you will feel more confident. Bullies pick on people who look like easy targets - not confident people.
Stay around nice people and join a team or club. This may boost your confidence and open you to a circle of friends. Bullies have hard times picking on someone in a group of people, as they friends will stick up for you.
Stay away from him. Avoid him at all possible costs. If you have to, reroute your class routes that you travel each day, or walk home a different way. Or you could just make sure to be around people who you like when you do see him.
Good Luck! I really hope everything turns out well for you, and I hope the abuse stops. But that is how you have to look at it: abuse. You cannot be abused and you need to talk about it with a person you feel comftorable in confiding in. Good Luck!
In response to your message:
If that's how he treats you now, how do you think he will treat someone in a relationship and how nice of a person do you think he is? That guy sounds very mean and quite frankly, a jerk! You sound intelligent, nice and smart. I'm sure you could do a HECK of a lot better! You go girl!
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