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trapped


Question Posted Monday December 4 2006, 6:29 pm

hi this is really long but i'll do my best to make it short. thanks.ok well im a 17 year old girl and my boyfriend is 19. we have been going out for about 8 and a half months and so far we've had a pretty good relationship. not too many arguements or anything and we love each other a lot. before this relationship we were off and on for about 2 years but everytime we went out back then, it was never too serious. this time he is really serious and he even proposed! heres the problem, i said yes to him when he asked me to marry him without sort of thinking and i know that was stupid on my part, and i not only dont want to marry him but i want to break up. thats because my best friend that i have known for 13 years does not like him and they always argue and my friend is i guess more important to me then my boyfriend. the reason im trapped is because now everytime i tell him something he doesnt want to hear he starts going crazy. like punching walls and cutting himself and threatening me by saying hes going to kill himself. and in one arguement he started tossing me around and herting me. i know thats not healthy but i dont know what to do. he has a history that i didnt know about and his mom knows about his problems but she doesnt do anything! i dont know what to do! i just want to break up without herting anyone. please help!

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Solaris answered Monday December 4 2006, 8:42 pm:
Hmm Tricky situation I say. You definatly dont want to be married to someone like that. Things will get worse, and it could flow from you to your kids. I would say talk to your mother about what has been going on. She could help you get a restraining order or sumsing against him. I would definately say to get out of that situation as soon as you can. If he cant handle it, then that is something he will have to deal with. In short I would talk to your mother or father about it.

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MassieRealName answered Monday December 4 2006, 7:31 pm:
OMG! break up with him now he could hurt you seriously if you dont soon but always be care ful if he has a history of violense now normally this is wrong but dont do it in person if he dos that every time he does not like something (like break ups) he could hurt you
P.S. hang up right after
MassieRealName

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karenR answered Monday December 4 2006, 6:58 pm:
If you want to break up because your friend doesn't like him then you certainly don't want to marry him.

If you are going to break up, just do it. There is really no nice way to do it and someone will be hurt. There is just no way around that.

If you feel he will get violent, do it in a public place and have a friend standing by to get you out of the situation.

If he is going to threaten suicide or something like that, call his mom and tell her about his threats. What he does, cruel as it sounds, is not your problem. Do not be threatened into staying in a bad relationship.

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