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Urgent and long, need advice fast please <3
Ok I'm going to give a lot of detail so it can be more understandable:
My best friend of 5 years, Alex and I because really good friends with a girl named Jen in June and then a few days later we became friends with Tara. So Tara and Jen became best friends and we became a group of four. Tara was going off to university though. We had a good summer but right before she went off, her and Jen had a fight but then they made up.
Mid-September, Alex, Jen and me went to stay at Tara's for the weekend to party. Jen and Tara had another fight where Tara's real feelings towards Jen came through and from then on she kept telling Alex and me how much she hated Jen. We didn't tell Jen about this because Tara had a few valid points for not liking Jen that we agreed with.
So Tara came down a few times and the three of us hung out.
There was this one time me and Alex had a fight in October and I was talking crap about Alex to Jen (I was just really really mad) but it turns out that Alex had phoned Tara and talked crap about me and to a few other people to her so eventually we moved on. A few weeks later, I told Jen that Tara hated her and Jen just shrugged it off.
Now last week Alex was going to go visit Tara by herself because I couldn't get off work. Just before she left, me and Tara were IMing:
Tara: You two seem like you have a lot of conflict
Me: Yeah but it's okay we've always been like that. Why is she saying anything?
Tara: No not really
Me: Don't be bothered by her, whenever she gets mad, she just goes and b****es to people
Tara: Or maybe she just tells me because I'm her good friend
Me: No she told blah and blah and blah about blah
Tara: Oh ok
So Alex left and I had a really bad feeling about it. She came home yesterday and today we were IMing and she told me that she wanted to go to Tara’s university. Now Alex has no idea what she wants to be and the only thing she’s seen of the university is people getting drunk on weekends. She doesn’t know about the school or the programs they offer. She would be paying $9000 extra a year and she had a plan to save up and pay for it herself leaving no money for anything else. It was just this plan they made up this weekend and I was like wth you don’t know anything about this school and what if you and Tara have a falling out?
She told me that I was an a**hole for assuming that she only wants to go there to party and that Tara is a really good friend and at least she doesn’t talk crap about her behind her back. She told me Tara told her I was talking **** about her.
I am so furious right now. I never said anything to Tara other than that convo above because you can’t take one wrong step with her. I saw how she hated Jen so fast and I thought it was pretty scary. Now she’s trying to turn Alex against me? And Alex keeps bringing back past fights we’ve had and how she wants to leave the city and stuff that she’s never even mentioned before just because of this weekend. She’s actually seriously considering it. So I left Tara a message asking her about what I exactly said to her about Alex and if she could enlighten me and she hasn’t answered back.
So what am I supposed to do about Tara? And how am I supposed to convince Alex to stay? I’m turning 21 in August and how can I not have my best friend there to celebrate my first year being legal?
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I think that you should tell Alex you really didn't mean to say that stuff, it just came out (that's how it sounds to me) and that you were just really mad about how she was talking about you behind your back with Tara. Don't wait for her to apologize, I think you should be the first person, even if she did the wrong-doing. It will help your friendship having her know that you want her forgiveness and still want to be friends. Don't hate Tara either for telling Alex about what you said. Tara sounds like a messenger out to get you both. hope I helped!!
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tara is being a b*tch talk to alex about it, phone her and ask her why she was being mean to you all of a sudden, makesure its jst a 1 on 1 convo maybe on the phone or in person, tell her that tara is talking poo. Hang out with tara a little more aswell, and try to be a nice friend to her, keep your friends close, and your enemies closer. the closer you are to tara the less she can do about your friendship with alex - specially if you get bak on neutral grounds with alex, and then finally you can start hanging out togehter again
i think you will make up - dont worry
let alex think that she is going to that uni, maybe she will start changing her mind soon..
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