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My friend's family problems
15/F
My best friend, Allie, is having family problems and I am wondering how to support her. Her mom has recently started drinking too much, smoking and having a bad attitude. Allie (15) has two younger siblings (aged 12 and 13). Her mother is constantly yelling at Allie, but not the other two children. Allie is expected to run the family.
Allie's parents are divorced. When Allie is at her father's house she is made a slave. She is trated very unfairly (I have been to her father's house and I came home crying because they were so mean to us).
Allie's father a few years ago made her live with him (normally she just goes there on weekends) because her mother was 'too unstable'.
Allie's father lives two hours away and I would miss her a lot if she moved.
How can Allie deal with the situation (constantly being yelled at, disfunctional family, stress, etc) and how can I (as her best friend) support her?
Allie has gotten counselling before but it did not help. I try everyday to keep her happy but it is putting a lot of strain on the both of us.
Thank you.
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counsiling doesnt help one single bit.. trust me ive been there. but as for your friend. dont try to make her happy.. just be there for her.. let ehr know that you are willing to listen.. when i was going through somethign similar all i wanted/needed was someone to talk to someone i could trust.. and i didnt have that and i went in the wrong direction but then i foudn someone and things seemed to get alot better.. sometimes all people need is to know that there is someone there that they can lean on.
Hope it helps in anyway..
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Wow. Well first of all, Thank you for asking for help. However, it is not your job to keep Allie happy. It can be your job to help her figure this out though. It is also not Allie's job to worry about these things. She is a kid, and it sounds like she is running out of time to be a kid.
I think that Allie(and you can go with her if she wants) should talk to the school councler, I ralize that she has already been to counslers before but sometimes doing something again can make the difference. Also that way she can possibly go to AA meeting and find out how to deal with her (and her mom's) problems.
Now just from the discription, I can't tell for sure, but if allie is in real danger, then she must talk to someone, it doesnt matter who it is, a neighbour, a teacher any adult that can help. She needs to get this fixed up, and that may mean spending alittle time away from her family, and even if they arent doing anything to her younger siblings, they may.
It is great that Allie has such a good friend like you to help her, but you, as her friend, can only support her, you can't fix this. You can support her by going with her to the guidence councler, or talking to an adult, or attending meetings for children of alcoholics. But no matter what happens for Allie (i.e. she moves really far away) it wil suck for you, and you'll miss her, but if thats best for her, then you have to keep a brave face and help her pack. No matter what happens she will always have an amazing friend like you sitting at home ready to help her out. I commend you for seeking help. There need to be more people like you out there. Good Luck to you and Allie. I hope you helped!
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