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Cant Figure Him Out
Dear Columnist,
Here's my situation, I'm 18/f and this guy I can't seem to let go is 20/m. I have been what is the closest I have ever felt to love for someone, with him for almost 6 years now. Now, given, when I crush I crush big time and I've had crushes before and during him but never like this. With most of my crushes I feel really strongly for them but it all fades after a few months with no return on the feeling. But with him, it has been near 6 years and there hasn't even been so much as dulling of my feeling. I am oblivious when it comes to matters of the heart involving me. I really feel a connection with him and would have sworn he felt, at least something, too. But when I finally got up the nerve to tell him that I really like him, all he said was that he has a girlfriend. I know that's a given road block, and I really had accepted that there wasn't going to be anything there but when I worked with him over the next couple weeks I could still see the same way he looked at me, and the way he showed so much concern for me. I've never had anyone show so much positive emotion towards me even through his eyes. I just can't let go, I feel there's something more there he's not showing but I don't know where to go from here or what else I can do to either win him over or at least know how he feels so I can let go. Please help.
Thanks- "Lost in Love"
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Maybe give some free advice about: Love Life?
Well, you can't change what someone else feels towards you and you can't tell for sure if what they feel about you unless you ask them directly.
Stealing him from his girlfriend isn't a good idea at all considering the fact that he's two years older than you. The key word is that he is older than you (even by just a little) and stealing a 20yr old man isn't too nice..
Just wait it out and see what happens. Be careful not to step into the friend zone because you might just be stuck there forever. When he and his grilfriend breaks up, give him time and don't rush on him. Just stay cool, don't continuously flirt with him and blah blah.
Don't be so hung up on this guy. Go out with your friends and shop or go to the movies or parties and meet new guys and who knows, you might develope a crush that is bigger than the one you have right now. I mean what's the point of lingering on one guy when there are millions of guys out there that are available?
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You could ask him if he is serious with his girlfriend, but he most likely is. He could have broken up with her and asked you out by now, knowing that you liked him. I don't want you wasting time over this guy, if he does not return you feelings. You may really carry a crush for him forever...sometimes we humans carry multiple crushes for years. That should not mean the end of your life. He may or may not ever return your feelings, so if he does not right now, set it on a shelf and move on. There really might be someone else you will find you like even better. You are actually just starting out as a young adult, and things are really going to change for you in the next several years. Keep your options open.
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Ok, well I know this is kind of childish but you could get a complete makeover you know like new hair style, a little more makeup, some really breath taking clothes and after your wardrobe is all done once you get to work you could act like you forgot all about him but still try to get his attention without him knowing it like for example if your wearing leather boots you could put one of your feet on his chair and lace them it always gets guys attention and then just say oh im sorry was I lacing my boots on your chair (whoops!). I'm not guranteeing it but it always workes for me. But its a 75% chance of you winning him over and another 50% not.
Ayumi Hamasaki
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