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starting up friendships with people cooler than you.
yeah, cooler older people...i've tried being confident...and i am...but i'm also realistically aware of my abilities...and these people are much closer to the definition of cool than me, wittier, smarter, wiser, up on trends i'm not up on, and have a hard time keeping up with ect...they are nice to me but...i'm pretty sure they're also a bit bored with me...how can i change this...without becoming mentally four years older...i wouldn't mind putting some effort into keeping up with their topics of intrest ect...but i just don't think i can get to where it has taken them four years to get to intellectually so quickly...how can i get these guys to like me...i'd love to be in their company. they are really interesting.
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Dear Defying Age and Time,
Age, as you haven proven, isn't the main issue. Obviously they enjoy your company, but you wish to know how to 'fit in' and be more 'interesting' within the group? It's simple- just be yourslef- there is no point in researching all the intellegent things they talk about and make it sound like YOU know what you are talking about just to say In and Up in the crowd. Just talk about what you know. If you want to change your knowledge, that is completely fine- Buy a new outfit, try something new, or maybe just brush up on some world news- whatever- just dont mae yourself to be so much older- be happy with your age!
Hope I've Helped!
Good Luck
-Miss Mabry
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In middle school, I had a certain group of friends that I hung out with and I hated/despised the 'cool, older' crowd. I hit high school - I got drawn into that crowd. How? I didn't give a damn what they thought of me. Once you get into and around that crowd, you'll realize they're not that different and not necessarily that much cooler. People just think they are, therefore giving them that status.
I was always friends with everyone, but I tended to hang with what people considered the cool crowd more. I went to three different high schools and everytime that's who I ended up with. All it took was hitting it off with one person. I never pretended I was something that I wasn't and I openly expressed my opinions.
I wouldn't waste my time researching topics they may be interested in. I'm afraid if you put so much into trying to fit in and become one of them, you're going to get burned and depressed. I'm guessing you're probably around 9th grade. This is a perfect time in your life to start defining the kind of person you want to be and allow it to take form. Be yourself. If you don't know what they're talking about, inform them on some things that you're interested in.
To help you out a little further, it does help if you're friends with the right person. If you could become close friends with at least one person in the group, it could easily, very, very easily pull you in. But don't change to conform to another's standards. Be yourself. Standing out does make a difference. Express your opinions. Don't be shy and stand up for things you believe in. Don't bow down to anyone and eventually they'll either love you or hate you. But you'll be stronger and thankful. If you don't have things in common with someone, I wouldn't suggest becoming friends with them. I found in those groups I didn't have a lot of real, true friends and I got into partying and drinking a lot because that was a weekend consistency. It's all about the right people and the right places and the right words. Sarcasm helped me. =)
Good luck! =)
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There isn't any 'quick fix' unfortunately, you'll more than likely have to move forward in the same wya that they did. It will take some time.
Simply hanging out with them and interacting would help, I would think. I doubt I could spend a good length of time in a room with some astronomists, for example, without picking up some degree of knowledge from them.
Be careful not to 'pose; they'll know if you do, and at best they'll just feel odd about it. At worse, they'll avoid you. Just be yourself, shrug it off, and don't worry.
If you are worried that you cannot hold a conversation with them on certain topics, or that your knowledge/awareness of certain things are a hindrance when dealing with them, first identify what the topics are. Politics, religion, whatever...make a mental list, then read. Bone up on these things, or at least read enough that you can hold your own.
But seriously, I wouldn't worry too much. As long as you keep an open mind and soak up what you can, sooner or later (hopefully sooner) you'll get to a point you will feel comfortable enough not to worry about this.
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you don't need to try to be anything your not, be yourself around them, if they don't dig it, screw em. i 'm in 9th grade and have a few 12th grade friends, really they're just like you, and can act like kids and be goofy too, they're not smarter, they just know more than you, and hope i helped.
xo
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