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LOVES confusing. what can i do? want to be around him but..
16-f
hey guys :] im in this really hard situation! so id like to tell you what happens and it might be kinda long but you need to know the details to know what im going through! so anyways..there is this really adorable sweet guy and ive liked him on and off for around 4-5 months. he never knew and still doesnt because he is one of my good friends and i see him alot, if not every weekend. because we go to different schools and my cousin is his neighbor. anyways before he got a girlfriend about 3 months ago me and him flirted like crazy i mean we would wrestle and get close, never KISS or cuddle or anything. but now that he has a girlfriend we dont do it so much anymore. sometimes i feel that he does have feelings or is still somewhat attracted to me. like tonight it was me and him and my two cousins together and like we were going to his girlfriends hockey scrimmage and so then we had to park far away because it was busy and my cousin forgot her cellphone in her car so hes like come on we'll meet her in there. and then hes like your my date come on! so he stuck his arm out and we like linked arms and then my feet hurt so i was like can you give me a piggy back ride :] and hes like yeah get on and so he did. and it was cute i was like aww i dont want this to end! and then like when we got back into the car he got really close but he was laughing and hes like ahh im cold and stuff! but then he moved back because we were both in the back seat and then his girlfriend came and she was with us for the rest of the night. one time we were playing football and then he like would give me the ball to throw because i wanted to but he would always like kind of hug me from behind and give me the ball. its like to ME he tires to flirt, without being too obvious and sometimes it feels like he likes me too! but doesnt want me to know or anyone else because he likes his girlfriend, but could there be a chance he likes me too? its like when i dont see him for a little bit im like good im getting over him i dont like him he has a girlfriend there is no point! and then right when i see him and we talk and like flirt all my feelings come back. im not going to stop being around him he is my friend and im soo happy when im around him. but then it kills me to know that he has a girlfriend and loves her not me...and me and him always joke like tonight i was coming home from work and they were coming to pick me up and im like i have to change first! and hes like okay you can just change in front of us ;) and started laughing! and then me and him both had to go to the bathroom bad so we pulled to the side of a road and my cousin was like go you two, you guys can have a quickie and then i laughed and then hes like alright lets go and smiled (but hes joking, obviously) but those kind of things come up all the time! like "sexual" but jokingly. and its like i dont know what to do because i dont want to be like nooo! ewww! because i know i wouldnt mind being with him but then i dont want him to know and be like okay! ahhaha. so i always just laugh about it. its sorta awkward but its cute how he answers. i dont want to tell him i like him because it would be soo awkward afterwards and woould pretty much ruin our friendship! and i try to deny to myself that i like him because i know i dont have a chance and that he loves his girlfriend but i just LOVE being around him. im always soo happy when i hear that im going to be seeing him :] i know i shouldnt put myself through this but i dont know what to do!!!! i love getting his attention and have him look at me and be around me but then i think. shoot he has a girlfriend :[
well here are some quotes that tell how im feeling if this helps any..
you tell me about her and i smile and say "thats great" but you know me and by the look in my eyes you should be able to see that i want to be in her place..
people constantly ask me, "are you two going out?" but they have no idea how much it hurts to say "no we're just friends".. <-- sooo TRUE!..
its like you want me when shes not around but when she is, its like i dont exist. i just wanted you to know that i hate you for all this shit, but yet i still stick to you like paper on glue. i can never seem to get enough of you..
so i keep thinking that when your finally ready to be more than best friends i wont be here..but then i laugh at myself for even thinking that i wont still be here waiting..
well sorry its SUPER long but i would appreciate it SOOO much if you could help me.
thank you<3
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ok let me just put the fact out there that if i was this guys girlfriend and i knew he was doing all this with you i'd be pissed. so how about first taking that into consideration and thinking about it as if you were in her shoes. apparently you want to be.
anyway, now that that's out of the way, you should bring it up when he's playing around with you and be like "what, you don't have a girlfriend anymore or something?" mood killer? maybe, but who cares. if you really wanted to get this settled you'd bring this up to him.
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I'm glad you realize there's nothing you can do.. at the moment, for now. Most girls try to diabolically (sp) plot their revenge between the two and how to break them up ; which usually backfires into their face twice fold and might wind up ruining the friendship.
But I am going to tell you, it does sound to me like he's somewhat attracted to you, and may even have some feelings. He might be trying to get the point across by all the flirting, but does remember he DOES have a girlfriend, so he's trying to keep his boundaries and everything, you know? Also, he may just be trying to move on. He might like you, but thinks that since you don't like him, he might as well just try and move on and continue being friends.
I would just keep up with what you're doing, and just keep all the flirting going. Send him compliments, make him feel special, give him hugs and sit close to him and eveyrthing.
But if him and his girlfriend ever were to break up, I would seriously tell him. I mean, we all only have one life, you know. Take a chance. He could be the best boyfriend ever and you wouldn't know it. I mean, I wouldn't tell him right off the bat after they break up. Just be there for him, console him and just wait until he's over her, and then someday when you're feeling gutsy and comfortable enough to tell him, tell him. Let him know that you've liked him for a good while, but obviously, didn't want to tell him because he had a girlfriend at the time and you knew not to mention anything after they broke up because he was upset and everything.
If he likes you back, great!
If he doesn't, which I don't think he doesn't ( it's tricky though with guys ; sometimes they send these signals that to us girls shows signs of interest and flirting and everything, but to the guys, they just think they're being friendly and normal and everything ). But for all other friendships that this has happened to, most wind up still remaining friends. You just have to work hard at it to keep it normal and make the conversation flowing so it doesn't wind up awkward. It'll only be awkward if you two make it awkward.
But if you really don't want to tell him, the most I can do is tell you to just keep doing what you're doing in hopes that he realizes how much you like him, and wants to be with you ( but if you do this and nothings happens, this could result in further hurt feelings ). Or you can try and get over him, which I know you already said is hard, I understand, but just try. Just keep reminding yourself,"He has a girlfriend, we can't be together." And maybe even try to casually date a few guys. Maybe one of them will spark your interest and you'll have a new guy to like ; that's not in a relationship.
I hope I helped.
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Yes, I love long questions, there so awesome to read and then...help with yeah. Ok, so, this situation sucks. I really know how you feel, except the guy that i had the hots for didnt have a girlfriend, and it was all so weird. Guys, sometimes dont realize how there making girls feel when they flirt like that. Yes, there is a 50 50 chance that he likes you. Evidently theres nothing you can do about it because he has a girlfriend. Its ok if you dont get over him right now, you dont have to, as long as you konw at this point you two cant be together. I think, that if you let him know how you feel, about trying not to like him, but hten suddenly liking him when you see him, that a burden will be lifted, and you'll be able to go on, dont be scared either, if he doesn't want to be friends because of that, then thats bullshit.About your quote:
"i just wanted you to know that i hate you for all this shit, but yet i still stick to you like paper on glue. i can never seem to get enough of you."
You should totally tell him that! It'll probably leave him dumbfounded, but who cares? You've gotta do what you gotta do! Hope I helped, good luck!
-Brina
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