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broke up & still hung up.
My boyfriend and I broke up a week ago. It was my first real relationship and I lost my virginity to him way back. He said he wasn't happy anymore & that we argued everyday. I was destroyed and it still hurts very much. The thing is, I miss him & he hasn't tried to contact me at all. It seems I'm out of his life and mind, but we had an amazing relationship for a year. Is it really that he wants to move on or he's trying to hurt me even more? Would it look that desperate if I spoke up first? 18/f
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Did you guys argue a lot like he said? You really don't want to be with someone who is not happy being with you. Just because you had a good thing, does not mean it would go on forever. Sometimes guys want to move on because they want to experience being single and dating lots of girls. They don't want to be tied down and "married" at such a young age. Can you blame him? We women tend to romanticize and idealize relationships and be other-pleasers, while guys tend to be self-pleasers. We like "deep" relationships with one guy, while they like to conquer as many girls as possible as a sign of their manhood and to pleasure their ego. Until both sexes mature and are ready for a realistic and monogamous commitment, young relationships are difficult to endure. Men do not often marry or commit based on finding the right girl; rather they first decide that they want to settle down and then they look around and hunt down the nearest girl that fits their agenda. Women are fed a lot of romantic garbage and cinderella stories from childhood fairytales and media romance movies, and it sets us up for disappointments. I suggest that you walk away with your dignity intact and not grovel to him like a desperado, which is never sexy. Men run the moment they smell a desperate woman, unless they are mean enough to just use her for a one-night stand. Whether or not he is moving on or trying to hurt you, you need to accept that he is no longer your guy. You have to live in reality and realize that though he was your first, he was never intent on being your one and only or your last. That does not mean it was not special or you cannot look back years from know and smile about the good times. It does mean that you will now have the opportunity to be a single young woman who is over her first major break-up and is mature enough to learn from the experience and respect herself enough to know that he will eventually miss her if he is smart at all. By then you will have moved on and the cute single men of the world will be grateful you did!
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i'm sorry, but it would look desperate. i think it's time for you to move on :) obviously, he wants to move on. i mean.. people get tired of eachother, they move on, they find new people, people they're happy with. i'm sure you can find someone that's gunna make you happy, happier than that boy ever did :D
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Well, I'm not trying to sound harsh here, but that's what is supposed to happen when two people break up ; you try to move on with your life and meet some new people ( unless the couple can work out their problem ). I doubt he's trying to hurt you even more, I don't even think he'd want to hurt you like that in the first place. Trust me, if there was a way to break up with someone without hurting them, everybody'd be doing it. :/
I don't think you'd look desperate if you spoke up first. I would just wait awhile so it doesn't seem like you're calling him up being like "EJMWE<LKFEWF?!?" or whatever, because he still might not be up for talking, so just give it some time. And then call him and just try and initiate a conversation, or whatever you want to ask him or talk to him about. I mean, if you're trying to find out answers to anything, you do deserve to know, and you can't help but be curious.
Trust me ; he'll realize sooner or later what a regret it was dumping you, because you seem like a really cool person. And I bet you'll find a guy who'll want to stay with you forever and not just dump you because you guys get into arguements. No relationships perfect, arguements help build a relationship to make it better, and he just made everything worse by dumping you. So you deserve so much better than him.
I hope I helped.
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No you wouldn't look desperate at all if you spoke up first. You want to know the truth and want to know if he cares at all about what he did. I think that he is scared that you guys have gotten to close. Maybe he loves you and that thought scares him so he ran away and made something up so he wouldn't have to tell the truth. And after you talk him and he doesn't want to be with you anymore then he wasn't worth it. You need to find someone who wants all of you and never wants to give up on you. I know you love this guy but he is a jerk and he will regret his choice especially if you find someone better and you are happy with that person. You sound like a great person who only deserves the very best.
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