|
15/f
lately i have been trying to figure out my sexuality. there are times when i want to be with a boy, but about 99.9% of the time i want a girl. anyways, figuring this out is hard enough, and on top of that, my friends dont really accept gays. so thats harder. today, we were talkin about it, and they were like 'how can a girl be gay theres nothing wrong with boys. its so nasty' and they went on and on and on. i just sit there and ignore them. i dont want to handle with being rejected from my friends and family for being gay, but i cant help it. i can see myself with a girl more than i can with a boy. but can someone please help me?? give me advice or something!! how can i figure out my sexuality and be 100% sure thats what i am???
[ ]
Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Love Life?
Well first of all, you might want to think about becoming friends with new people. If you're friends aren't going to accept you for who you are, what's the point in being friends with them anyway? They're not very nice. They should just be able to like you for you ; they did before, and they should after they find out whatever your sexuality may be.
Speaking of, what I suggest is just experiment around. Alot of teenagers want to experiment and try new things with different people and see what happens. This could just be a phase you're going through ; it might not. You can either wait it out and see how you feel, or just and experiment a bit and see how you're feelings are. If you like both boys and girls, obviously, you're bisexual.
As for once you find out your sexuality, it's your decision wether you want to share it with everybody, or keep it inside. Some people keep it inside of them for years and years before they tell anybody, and whenever they do they're really happy to get it off their chest. And the only thing that's keeping them from doing it is fear of losing friends. But you shouldn't be afraid to lose friends that sound rude and unaccepting anyway. But like I said, it's your choice as to when you feel comfortable and ready enough to tell people.
I hope I helped.
]
This may be tough advice to take, but you may need to find new friends. Let me ask you this: "Would they be hateful towards you if they were to discover how you feel?" If the answer is yes, you might want to be careful and move on. Of course if your friends are young, its quite possible that they simply haven't had to deal with homosexuality at all...and its very easy to say exactly what they are saying when the topic comes up. But if your friends are true friends, they wont discriminate against you for going through this. I feel sorry for you, but in the sense of that this can be a rough thing to go through.
In any event you need to be honest with yourself. If you spend the rest of your life suppressing how you feel, you'll end up with massive therapy bills. I doubt you are imagining how you feel.
Some people spend years and years exploring their sexuality, going from straight to gay to bisexual, and back again. Many people may disagree with me, but I don't think this is abnormal. How you feel, is how you feel. Remember, its YOUR sexuality and no one elses, so don't let others bully you into a category or a label you do not feel comfortable with.
It is also your call about whether or not this is the time to let people know how you feel. Its quite possible that the best thing to do would be to keep this from becoming public knowledge, as children your age can be VERY cruel and have little sympathy for those who are different. Hell, adults can be this way; minors can be worse.
GL
]
More Questions: |