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army
my boyfriend is in basic training for the army and i wont get to see him for a few months. i am dieing. i miss him so much. i try to fill my time with my friends. But it still doesnt work. i cry everynight. how do i make this feeling go away.
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try to do stuff all day every day so you wont think about him. keep yourself busy. eventually youll get to where you still love him, but you miss him less and less. my sister had to go through this, so i know its a rough time. but try to keep yourself busy and not think about him as much.
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There is no incorrect nor correct answer. First of all you need to tell him you love him constantly, because once hes gone your not going to see him and you'd want him to always remember you telling him that youd always be thinking of him. Also, there is not exactly any specific way to make you feel good about yourself and make your feelings go away. You cannot just ignore your feelings, they are their for a reason. I personally like to write poetry writing isn't exactly my best skill(i have a D is english) but when I just express myself on the paper the words just flow out naturally. Write one each day, it will never cure your desire to be with him but you need to let those feelings out. a couple days before he leaves give him your poems. He most likely isn't going to decide to bail on the army after all his training but once he reads your feelings (if he truly cares for you)then he will always remember them throughout his career in the Army. Support him going. It isn't easy to fight for your country and constantly have people begging you to not go. But someone has to fight for this country and if its not him, who will it be if everyone in the US said im not going to give back to all the freedom they gave us? no one everyone would have things to do. (sorry got a lil into it)
just tryyyy writing even if it seems way outta your skill field experiment and if its not writing, draw anyway to artistically express yourself. Hope I could help a little, oh and never try to fill in time with your friends because then you think more about him because you think your replacing him. Again i tried my best hope something clicked with your issue.
<3 Hanna
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As an Army veteran myself, let me give you some advice:
Your relationship will change, and you need to find the strength to somehow deal with this; I don't have any simple answers for this at all, its tough. If you want to stay with him, you'll find the strength to do so. But if you think this is a deal-breaker (sometimes it is), try to at least wait until you can talk to him in person and explain things. And, if you are having troubles with him being in Basic already at this point, think if you can handle being with him if he gets deployed to Iraq or Afghanistan for a year, for an example...
Don't break up with him suddenly, especially via the phone or mail. Try to wait for him to come home on leave (either before his first duty station, or around Christmas) and talk it out with him then - if you DO decide to break up with him. He can come to resent, even hate, you if you just 'dump' him while he is stuck in Basic. There is a reason that in the Army there is the "Dear John" letter phenomenon, several guys were broken up with in my Basic Training over 10 years ago, and I'm sure this is hardly an exception. But on the other side of the coin, don't feel that you MUST stay together for his benefit alone.
Try to remember, that he is going nuts himself (most likely) with stress in Basic training at this moment.
You didn't say how serious the two of you were in this relationship, so I don't know what you are planning for the long-term. I'll tell you up-front, that if the two of you are looking forward to a long-term relationship, you will be expected to make a lot of sacrifices - and that honestly isn't for everyone. Being an Army wife is a tough thing. If you aren't looking for that level of dedication, would you want to move across the country for anything less than marriage?
If you are ready to be with him long-term, you will be put into the position of needing to move to where he is (the Military doesnt leave you many options), and that is assuming he ends up stationed state-side in the first place. Its possible he might end up overseas quickly after training and you will be away from him again.
If you truly love him and want to be with him, then you will so what you need to do. But, be sure you are ready for that level on commitment first, unless you want to try long-distance dating (and thats nearly impossible to pull off).
GL with this, in any event.
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Just know that long distance relationships are hard, & it's not for everyone. The key to manage the time apart is trust, faith & hope that you two will see each other again. In the mean time, there is nothing wrong with living your life with out him in it. Do all the things you use to do before you started dating...can you even remember that far back? Keep in close contact with your boyfriend. If you don't revolve your life around the seperated time then it will go faster.
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Take it one day at a time and recongize that he is serving our country. Start writing him letters, volunteering or putting together package goods for him and his group.
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I'm sorry that he's going to be gone, and I'm sorry to say it, but you can't make the feeling go away because you miss him. I've been through something similar before and it hurts so bad, but there's nothing you can do except spend time with your friends and write him letters. Make sure you let him know how you feel and hopefully he'll be able to write you back (I don't know if they can have letters in basic training). Try occupying your time with a hobby or with work/school (I'm not sure how old you are or if you're in school etc.). And be faithful to him if you really want to be with him. That's very important. My boyfriend was away for 6 months and we made it through it. We've been together for over two years and we live together now, so it can be done. Just don't lose hope and remember that one day it will be better. If you want to talk or have anymore questions just message me. Good luck! <3 Dana
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