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humorist-workshop
large love
Ive always been the kind of girl who says i dont care what guys look like, its all about the personality. But this guy i like now, hes perfect and truly amazing, he would do anyhting for me and we ahve liked eachother for about 5 years now. yeha i know, its a long time. Well hes, how do i say it in a nice way... large. and i feel horrible becuase i always think if he was hot and the same personality i would deffinetly date him. but, i dont know what to do... i know its no big deal about looks. But seriously if someone had roten teeth. was like 600 pounds and was just yucky, would u date them? (thats not the desciption of the guy i like, it was just an example) Yes its alll about personality, but looks have somewhat to do what their personality is.... i guess what im asking.. is what im thinking wrong?? and how do i over come his largness?
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Maybe give some free advice about: Love Life?
do not judge the book by the cover, maybe he is fat, but you know, in time he'll loose all that weight and he'll be the cutest guy. think about him deep down inside, iside is the true beauty. I am very fat yet a skinny guy REALLY likes me. and he doesn't care about my look, its my personality. if he treats you right and loves you enough then looks shouldn't matter, it's whats in his heart and mind that matters
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In Fantasyland, the way people look has nothing to do with how desireable they are; it's all based on character, personality, and intelligence.
This is reality. People judge one another based in part on how they look. It's a primal instinct and it's not one that's easy to ignore. You shouldn't feel bad about recognizing that it's there.
That having been said, what can you do about it? The answer to that depends on whether HE considers it a problem. If he does, then you would be a good friend to help him lose some weight. Do active things together, dine out at salad bars instead of Deep Fried Everything, and provide encouragement.
It may also be that he DOESN'T consider it a problem (and, in all fairness, maybe it isn't - some people are just a little tubbier than the rest of us, and they get along fine). In that case, you have to decide whether you can deal with it. Furthermore, that's true about anyone. Not everyone is fat, but everyone has flaws, and no matter what guy you find there's going to be SOMETHING about him that you wish were different.
Physical attraction IS a big deal. We might as well stop pretending otherwise, because it's only human to prefer the company of attractive people. Acknowledging our basic instincts doesn't make us slaves to them.
I think the best thing to do in your situation is apply the Golden Rule, and "do unto others as you would have them do unto you." Consider what you would want if your roles were reversed. Think about not only things like how your feelings might be hurt if guys rejected you due to your appearance, but also whether you would want a guy to go out with you when deep down, he found you unattractive.
Here's a possible test: Suppose you let him go, and then next week saw him kissing a girl more attractive than you. Could you deal with it?
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