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Work
My boyfriend and i leave together.When we come back from work/school e.t.che just sits there and i do the housechores even when am tired.I want him to know that am sometime too tired to work and need help around the house.I wish he would help without being pushed to,how do i tell this to him politely without hurting him and at the saame time convincingly?
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next time you`re doing chores, let him know you`re tired. say little things like, oh if i could finish vaccuming a little earlier, maybe we can cuddle. or wouldn`t it be fun if we could do the dishes or make dinner together, we can talk while we do it. you know? make it a bonding matter.
hope i helped
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You need to talk with him about the housework. Tell him you need him to help out. Ask him which jobs he would prefer to do and flat out tell him which ones he needs to do, as long as you have a good reason that he must be the one to do those. For instance, emptying my vacuum and cleaning out the cat's box trigger my allergies so my husband has to do those. Other than that, we have just agreed on who does what. If you wait to talk to him, you will likely just keep doing all the work until you explode at him, and that is not going to go well. If you talk to him when you are doing well together, and you remain calm and open to ideas and suggestions, it should work well. Devise a reward and/or punishment system you can both agree on. I know that it sounds like something you would do with kids, but it works for adults too. It will keep you both motivated more. It has to be equal though, you both need to agree on how it will work. Also, if you say that you need help because you are tired, he will respond with "well, I'm tired too." And, unless you do the same job, he will probably pull the "and my job is more demanding. I deserve a break at the end of the day!" Now, that is just a quirk about men. They don't know what women do all day and they convince themselves that they work harder. (Men, please don't give me grief about this. I have known many men and this seems to be a pretty general rule. Yes, there are exceptions, but that doesn't change the rule)
To sum up: Approach him at a calm time; talk rationally with him; work out a plan that you can both agree on, being open to his ideas; don't whine or complain; use rewards to keep motivated.
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hey there!
next time as your getting ready to do the chores than ask him straight out if he could help you. you can always start by telling him how tired or how your day was going and that you need some help around the house. still let him know that even though you both go to work/school you still need to do chores together. if your living with him, he should have to do half the chores. you can try to make a list of things he can do if he gets home before you. if you dont tell him now, you'll end up getting sick and tired of everything and you relationship with him will get weaker. even doing chores together will make your relationship stronger. what happens when your relationship gets even more serious and you plan on marrying him then your going to end up always doing the chores yourself and he wont see the point of starting to help you with chores. hope this helps!!
-manda
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Well you could maybe try a few things.Like go a week without cleaning and see if he decides to do something or maybe just not clean up after him let his stuff lay around. Maybe try sitting down and talking with him and telling him how you feel. Let him know how tired you are after work and that if he cared and wanted to really be the one to be there for you he should be pitching in. Hope this helped or gave you a few ideas with what to do.
Chad
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