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Im 17 and my sister is 13. Since last year she has had alot of problems dealing with her weight and losing friends. She gets picked on at school but she never does anything about it like tell the guidance counselour the boy(s) names. But she does tell the guidance counselour that boy(s) are picking on her. Last year she told the guidance Counselour she was going to kill herself so the counselour called my parents and they brought her to the hospital. Ver since that day my family can't say anything to her. She doesnt really go any where she just sits her ass in front of the computer all day. If you ask her to clean she gets mad at you. if you ask her if she wants to go to the store with you she says no. You tell her you need to use the computer she tells you to go to the library and use theirs. You ask her to go outside with her brother so he can play she tells you to do it yourself. Now all of this sounds stupid but these simple things cause her to flip out and hate us. She recently has started cutting. I have never known anyone that has cut. My sister is proud of cutting. She post away messages about cutting. Who can be proud of this? And she does it because she gets made at us for asking and telling her to do these simple things.
Now my stepdad told me if she didnt feel ike cleaning that i have to do the chores for her because she will hurt herself. Now i know this sounds rude but shes gotten to the point where i think shes doing it for ATTENTION and its driving me nuts. Her daily schedule consist of 1. wake up 2. get on the computer 3. get dressed 4. go to school 5. coming home from school 6. do homework 7. get on the computer till 11pm 8. go to bed(this happens every single day) And if you dont realize this but nothing she does is cleaning or spending time with the family.
She is starting to see a therapist or someone starting this thursday and hope fully this person can help her out.
Sorry if i sound like a mean sister but shes driving me crazy by not helping out. I work and i really cant come home and do all the cleaning at home.
thank you.
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Maybe give some free advice about: Mental health?
i'd say go easy on her.
try to understand that she's sick. it's like having any other kind of sickness, except this is harder to deal with and harder to understand. just take a deep breath and remind yourself she is depressed, she is seeking attention, and she doesn't feel normal.
at the age of 13, feeling normal is a very important thing. it might seem like she feels the opposite because cutting isnt a normal activity, but it is common with someone with low self-esteem to broadcast their shortcomings.
be patient and kind and loving. tell her you love her at least once a week. even if it doesnt seem like it gets through to her, it will. try to think less about how she annoys you and more about what she's going through. try to be calm and patient and it will not only make you stronger as a person, i guarantee you she'll love and appreciate what you'd be doing for her years later or even right away.
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You have a huge burden to deal with and I understand the frustration your whole family is putting on you. Your sister is crying out for attention, and help. She must have a lot of pain inside and it is probably eating her alive. Please be patient with her and thankfully she is getting the help she needs. Someday, she will thank you for being there for her. You are not a mean sister, just a human one. You need support to get through this, too. Talk to your parent, a friend, teacher, counselor...whoever. It is important for you to have people to hear you out, too. Try to remember that the tantrums, although manipulative, stem from a dark place of torment and possibly self-loathing. Be as patient and compassionate as you can with her, and you will find yourself less burdened and angry.
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When you said that you think shes doing this to get attention, she is. Because if someone says that its a cry for help, in either a way for someone to help them or when everyone says 'oh their doing it for attention' that might not make a lot of sense. I dont blame you for getting mad, because Im sure a lot of other people would get mad, I know I would. I use to do the same thing as your sister, for a long time, but Ive stopped.To me I think she is spoiled, not in a I want blahblahblahblah toys and stuff but shes the boss and if it doesnt go her way she'll threaten you with killing herself. And for you and your family its emotional abuse.She needs to see a doctor until she gets better, like your family is bringing her to one thursday, but it will take time, so be paitent.
Sorry I didnt really help you out or anything.
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It sounds like she is very bitter about what happened. I don't know what she is thinking, but maybe she feels like she was betrayed by her counselor. Another possibility is that she is living up to the expectations other people have of her. By bringing her to the hospital because of an idle threat of taking her own life, your parents made her feel like they thought she would really do it. Maybe she feels like they overreacted a bit by bringing her straight to the hospital. So, to spite them she is now doing this.
Your sister is going to get the help she needs, don't worry about that. All the time I was reading your question I kept saying to myself "get her to a counselor or therpist!" and then at the very end you said that she was going to start on Thursday. That is exactly what she needs. Don't expect a complete turnaround right away, but, in time, this should help her immensely.
It doesn't sound like your parents are very good at dealing with this type of situation. I'm going to suggest that your parents (and possibly you too) get involved in something. A support group, or some counseling in how to deal with your sister better. If all of you seek help too, it will show your sister that her family cares about her and her problems, which could be what she is looking for. It will also make it so that your parents can feel more confident in talking with her and making her do chores and spend time with the family. Ok, now don't go up to your parents and tell them they're doing a bad job. They're not. They're actually doing quite well and I think that they care a lot about their kids. Somehow though, suggest to them that maybe you all should go to some type of counseling so that you can help your sister too, not just her own therapist.
Another thing I would suggest is that you have a talk with her therapist sometime. It may already be part of the procedure. Tell him/her all your fears and concerns about your sister. This will help the therapy because the therapist can use some of what you say to help your sister, and it will probably help you feel better about it too.
It may also be a good idea to express your fears to your sister too. This could open some doors. Even if she doesn't take it well, she will probably be surprised that you'd share things like that with her and that you were as concerned about her as you are. It should make her feel better about herself. Right now, she probably doesn't feel like anybody cares about her because there aren't open lines of communication. Let her know how much you do.
Even if you can't get your parents to seek help as well, your sister should still be just fine, try not to worry just yet. She is getting the help she needs. :)
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When I was in High School my mother had foster kids. Believe it or not we had a 14 year old gal just like that. She would do the cutting, and then she would say she was going to commit suicide and things of that nature. Real moody too. Eventually she also had to go to counseling and she did end up coming out of it pretty good. And you are right on the attention part, If someone was determined to commit suicide they would do it and get it over with. They would not inform people of this. Sounds like she wants attention and knows no other way to get it. Keep your head up things will get better, she just needs to find something to get her self esteem back up.
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