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Sex


Question Posted Wednesday September 13 2006, 12:16 pm

I was at a party not too long ago, and I got so fucked up. There was tons of alcohol, pills, and a few joints there, so I took advantage. I regret it so terribly bad because I ended up having sex with 4 guys in 6 hours. That was the first time I'd done anything "bad." I only did it because I was heartbroken and needed to get my mind off of it. I had sex with too many guys in too little time, and now everyone knows about it and thinks I'm a whore. Maybe I am. My best friend is mad because I let her boyfriend eat me out, but I was messed up. I didn't know what I was doing. But it has ruined my reputation and now I have no friends at all. What should I do?

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Melody answered Wednesday September 13 2006, 5:45 pm:
Before I say anything, I want you to i'm not trying to judge you in my advice, i'm simply telling you what I think you should do.

The best thing for you to do right now is stay away from everyone. You need to fix yourself before you try fixing your friendships. This means no more alcohol, pills, and marijuana. This may seem to drastic for you, because you are obviously a teenager [as am i] and I guess some thinks that makes it ok to get messed up. It's not. I'm not trying to be some poster child and be an Above the Influence ad, i'm just telling you the truth. I used to do drugs to. I was pretty messed up, and I didn't see the serious damage I was doing to myself. I've been off drugs for almost a year now, and i'm so proud of myself for that. My friends that still do drugs look terrible! Drugs do that to you.

What you did was wrong, and I think you know that so i'm not going to critizize you for it. Just know that having sex with 6 guys in one night, does justify other to call you a whore. I'm not saying it's right, and i'm not personally calling you one, but you obviously have to see where they are coming from. In your question, you said, "I had sex with too many guys in too little time, and now everyone knows about it and thinks I'm a whore. Maybe I am." You flat out just called yourself a whore. If you say that, it gives others the right to say that. You messed up, and now you have to fix it. How? Only you can decide. But for starters, i'd stay away from those parties, drugs, and guys.

You said you did this because you were heartbroken. That's why I started. I thought it would get my mind off of the pain I was feeling if I just got a little stoned. I was wrong. It did nothing except delay the inevitable. You've apparently seen what drugs can do to you, and it's not fun. Being heartbroken is no excuse for doing what you did, even though I did the same thing. I was wrong. You were wrong. It happens, and now what you have to do is make it right.

You've hurt your best friend badly. The best thing you can do for her right now is give her space. Drugs is no excuse for what you let her boyfriend do to you. I don't care what you were on, you knew what you were doing, and you knew what would happen. You can deny it to yourself, and you can deny it to your friend. But I know the truth. I've done just about everything, and I know what it's like. You have to make your friend realize how truely sorry you are though, tell her there was no excuse for what you did, and you know that as well as I do. Just apologize, she either forgives your or she don't. Just remember, a lot of people can forgive but they can't forget. And I doubt your best friend will.

Good Luck though, if you need any further advice, or if you just need someone to talk to, leave me one in my inbox, email, or icq.

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