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Career is in Shambles...What should i do???
My parents put a lot of pressure on me because they are almost 70 and my siblings are older, married, and well-established career-wise. <br> <br>
As the youngest, my life is in shambles. I'm pathetic. I was kicked out of my Ivy grad program after getting a C+ in a difficult class. I now don't know what do. My parents are strongly suggesting that I follow in the footsteps of my older sister who is a successful attorney. Everyday I speak to them, they (including my sister) suggest that I either go to law school, business school, or work for the U.N.
As a career, science is basically not an option anymore for me since I got a C+ in a very important class.
Anyway, I am stressed out and have clinical anxiety now. My career is in shambles. As a twenty-six year old, I feel like a failure, that I have disappointed my parents, and that my life is now without purpose or direction.
I have insomnia, I can't fall asleep at night, my hands shake when i am studying for the Business school, law school, and U.N. competitive exams (all of which I am studying for simultaneously since I promised my dad i would take the law exam, promised my mother I would take the business school exam, and promised my sister that I would take the U.N. exam--I guess each of them has a different agenda for me and all of them yell at me advice whenever I talk to them on the phone--they don't listen, they just yell at me), I am accustomed to weekly one-nighters, and I'm a frequent nailbiter and pen-chewer. I now have breakouts which i previously haven't had before, and i can't fall asleep at night, which is a contributor to my current skin problem.
I now have clinical anxiety, but I don't have the money for a therapist, and won't, since I'm currently unemployed and living in an expensive part of the country. I'm looking for jobs, but thusfar, have had no firm offers for non-temp positions.
Anyhow, i just wanted to see if anyone else here has academic anxiety and what they're doing about it. A lot of my friends themselves are going through problems of their own (i.e., relationship problems w/their bf's), and i don't want to burden them. Also, a lot of my friends living locally in the same city aren't as goal-oriented or academically driven as i am, so they can't relate to the same level as me when it comes to anxiety. I have made academics my life for the past four years. I have skipped parties, avoided dates, and basically made getting good grades my main priority. But now, I've been kicked out due to poor academic performance in a very important class.
I wasn't like this two years ago. Two years ago, i was a laid-back and happier person and more confident/secure with my academic abilities. Now, i find that i'm stressed out the majority of the time, can't relax when i go out with friends, and constantly in a state of anxiety about my career situation, which obviously is in a state of disaster. Coffee helps give me the energy to study, but it also makes me more nervous and keeps me awake and i can't relax or sleep after i come home from studying. I find that i have this restless nervous energy and i can't fall asleep. Anyone else strugggling with anxiety and just wondering if anyone else can provide me a constructive suggestion to solving my problem of anxiety other than self-medication?
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First off I have one word for you RELAX!!!!!. When I first started reading your question I thought you were 50 years old or something. How can you career be in shambles if you didn't even begin it yet. Have you ever sat down and tried to figure out what you want to do in life? We see what your family wants you to do, but what about what you want? I did not here you mention once that you were disappointed in yourself because this is what you've always wanted. Everything revoloves around my family said this or my family said that. Your family does not have to live your life, when you wake up in the morning your the one who has to look yourself in the mirror. Do you want to wake up at 40 and wonder what is the purpose in your life, because if you define yourself by what others think of you and what others want you to do then you lose any sense of self. One day you will look in that mirror and not even recognize yourself. Answer this one question: If you were told you had one day to live what would you do? If your answer is Study for an upcoming exam this afternoon, or listen to my family bash me for getting a C, then maybe your problems are bigger than you think. But if your answer is to enjoy your last day doing the things you love, then you need to remember that no day is promised. So enjoy life and stop calling yourself pathetic, because if you believe you are pathetic that is exactly what you will be. Tell your family what is going on they need to know that the pressure they put on you is causing you physical,emotional, and psychological damage. Find yourself, for the sake of your sanity, your future spouse, your future children and your future life, find yourself and make that person happy!
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Anxiety is best attacked at the root, and I have a pretty good guess insofar as where the root of your anxiety lies. It lies in the multitude of people trying to run your life for you.
Everything you describe in your question is all about what other people want. Your life should be YOURS, not theirs. What do YOU want? Do you want to be an attorney, go into business, or work for the UN?
Talk to your friends. Sure, they have problems, but so does everyone; if you wait for your friends to not have problems, you'll never talk to them again! They may be happy to offer advice and solutions to you.
You say you've been kicked out of an Ivy Grad program. That would seem to indicate that you have a bachelor's degree that is worth something, or you wouldn't have been in a prestegious grad program. That means you can find work. It may not be the position you want right away, but we all start somewhere.
Most communities have a work center for the purpose of helping people find employment. They almost always offer their services free of charge (they get their funding from local employers, who find it cheaper to finance such places than to pay unemployment!) Find your local workforce center on the internet and pay them a visit. They may be able to give you options you hadn't considered.
If your family objects or tries to force you into their idea of what your career should be, you must politely remind them that you are an adult, this is your life, and you will take their advice seriously but in the end make your own decisions. That may be a hard step for you to take, given the tone of your post, but if you ever want to be happy again you'll need to take it.
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