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How do I get my coworker to back off?
Hi. I work in a drop in centre for people with mental and physical disabilities. Recently we hired a new girl to work in a seperate job employment program, funded by the centre, but not really being involved with it. My own employer, before she left for her maternity leave, made it clear that I was in charge of the drop in program.
However- this person does not have anyone to work with in her own program, and apparantly has decided to horn in on mine. When I am working with the members, she buts in, telling them what to do and how to do it. Several times she has forced people (who may not be willing/may be unable) to do work like washing dishes. Once she was incredibly pushy towards a person who was suffering a petite mal seizure.
I don't want to have to deal with further strained relationships with my coworker. Already I feel resentful and threatened by her, mainly because she is two years younger, fresh out of college, and is one of those super-perky-isn't-my-life-wonderful-compared-to-yours kinds of people. How do I politely assert my authority without offending her?
(Feedback given!)
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I wouldn't give two shits if she was offended or not. You were left in charge beacuse your "boss" felt like you were the best person for that job-now you can do your job 100% if you got a know-it-all that actually knows-nothing trying to do your job for you. Let her know Katie, the advice your giving is NOT in the best interest of our client, I'd appreciate it if from now on, you'd let me do my job. That should shut her up, and if not...then it's time to get ugly.
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Well, you are the one in charge right? I wouldn't worry about offending her- it sounds like you are too nice. She is offending you, and interfering with your ability to do your job. Be straightforward and tactful. I would also suggest finding other work for her to do since she obviously needs something else to occupy her time. Make it clear that she must do as you say and nothing less will be tolerated. I understand about the intimidation, but she won't stop until you assert yourself. As far as a strained relationship...it's a matter of choosing between the cold shoulder and what you are putting up with now.
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That’s a tough place to be. Normally, just being patient and putting up with her would be an option but if she’s trying to run your program and is doing a mediocre job at it, she’s making things difficult for the people who drop in too.
An easy way out would be to treat her like an assistant. Direct her on how to help others and maintain an authoritative position at the same time so she knows whose boss. In that sense, even if she is “butting in”, at least she’s doing it with you supervising her. Maybe she’s just bored and she’ll welcome a little leadership.
If things are still strained, you’ll just have to have a talk her. Ask her how everything is going at her new job and act like a big sister figure. If her behavior is still declining, confront her about it and find a way to nicely tell her to do her own job. Explain that your employee left you in charge but you are open to any feedback and will try very hard to incorporate it into your program but at the same time, you would prefer being in charge yourself.
Good luck with her.
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