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i wrote to you before .. about my boyfriend and me breaking up .. haha the 'date girl' ..
well the kid i dated to try and get over cody ended up in jail .. and this kid keeps writing me letters and sending me on guilt trips, since ive 'deserted' him. and i havent told the kid in jail about cody. so i wanted to talk to cody adn see if maybe i could write to jp sayin that im with cody and that i dont want him to make me feel guilty. but i dont know if codys mad now .. he said he did care kinda .. so im just sacred i screwed stuff up again.
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listen....that kid in jail is being out of line...i dont know how or why your relationship ended....i dont know how long ago that ended...but you need to make your feelings clear to him, and tell him you DONT want him guilt tripping you - that wont be any use to anyone.(and if he wants to get closer to you...its probably only driving you away!) you left him for a reason. ok, obviously, he has a hard time accepting it was over I(as anyone who gets dumped does!) and went to such an extent that he wound up in jail...which ment that he probably did care about you still.
dont ask for your boyfriends permission to write a letter to your ex, its nothing to do with him, all that he can do is support you in this. however, you have to see this from cody's point of view. your ex is in jail. your ex may seem as a threat to him, and that is why he may act a little "off" with you. after all, your boyfrioend must care about you, so no wonder he said it (writing the letter), however...when you do write that letter, dont drop a bombshell, try to put it as subtly as you can. dont write:
"deal with it...its over...i have a new boyfrind now, fucking stop guit tripping me you psycho!!"
if anything, you shouldnt be mean in your letter, as this may cause him to be more hurt, or even angry and encourage him to write more letters to you and they may be worse.and you definitetly DONT want that!
say something like:
" i know you find all of this hard to take in, i would too in your position, but ive moved on, and you will too eventually. it looks bad at the moment, but one day things will get better,. i promise. but i really dont find the need for you to make me feel bad about what i did...its my life too and i did what i did for a reason. i didnt do this to make you feel bad."
and then just explain how he is making you feel, why you dislike the guilt tripping, and that you want him to stop. dont lead him on, make sure he KNOWS its over, as in his head, he may be thinking there is still a chance for him...and by the sounds of it- you dont want that . you must let him know the truth ...dont lie...youll just be diggling yourself a huuuge hole.tell him if you want the letters to stop or not...and tell him about cody.
Cody shouldnt be mad with you, a little worried yeah, i mean what kind of a boyfriend would he be if he wasnt concerned about this situation at all? dont go behind his back though...tell him what you are going to do...and if you want, maybe even ask him to help you write the letter if youre struggling with things to write. if he has a horrible attitide towards that, then dont be offeded, but just ask him to stand behind you if hes being a little bit of an asshole about it! you cant blame cody though, even if he IS being a little wierd, itll all blow over :)
you havent screwd anything up at all..and you havent done anything wrong (just in case you think you have). what once happened and what you thought was over seems to have unfinifshed buisiness, but once its all sorted, you can get yourself back on track, and you needent worry :)
i wish you the best of luck with writing the letter, tell me how it goes.
you know im here for you ok...so if you have a problem, you know who to mesage!
hope all goes well
take care,
alex (dia)
xxx
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