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A guy named Tom..and Brandon..and erm, that's about it
Well, this is REALLY REALLY long so if you want to back out now, do so because I wouldn't blame you.
Anywhos, my bestest friend and basically my only friend is Brandon and he's gay as in homosexual, not weird gay. And I hang out with him at school as much as I can and we like link arms, hug, etc. And no I don't like him like him.
And Tom, who liked me (he hugged me, sat next to me everywhere, kept on talking to me, and etc, etc.) Well, he must've asked someone if I was going out with Brandon (he was new to the school so he had not heard about Brandon being gay) and that someone told Tom that Brandon was gay.
The problem is that Tom is a homophobe...people that I loathe. And he was kind of..okay, he was pulling away .. barely sitting, talking walking with me and such. So in the hallway I was like "Tom, are you homophobic or something?" and he said yes..and I kind of got pissy at him so I basically said down the hall "Tom's a homophobe" kinda loudly.
But anyways. The problem is I still like him..other than the homophobe problems, he's perfect. Smart, funny, cute, and plays lacross which is the best sport yo. But now that Tom knows that Brandons gay and that most of my friends are homosexual, he is barely friend
I know that I shouldn't be hung up on a boy that is shallow and wont be my friend because mt bff is gay, etc, etc. But what should I do..?
I mean I'm going into high school and I know that I don't have any classes with Brandon (but we have lockers right next to each other) I don't know if I have any classes with Tom though. Should I try and get in touch with Tom or not?
And if I do be back to being friends with Tom, that's another problem. Melanie (she loathes me, got me into a lot of trouble. I loathe her like woah.) told me a long time ago that Christina (who I loathe and loathes me back) likes Tom. Now the whole "'Christina likes Tom' said Melanie" thing was before all the loathing went on.
But whenever I'm with my guy friends, everyone says I flirt. But I really don't. I don't risk my friendship with my good guy friends for a stupid relationship. I'm just being me and I guess that counts as flirt =X. Anywhos, but if I do become friends with Tom, I have like a 99% chance of "flirting" with him. And then that will start another drama/rumor around the school by the oh so dearly loved Melanie and Christina..bleh. I'm too confused.
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Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Friendship?
Well, I would try talking to Tom once and trying to work it out. Just let him know, "Look, if you're going to be my friend, you have to accept my other friends. I'm not asking you to like, hang out with him or anything, I just don't want to saying mean things about him or freaking out about him or anything. And if you can't accept me for being friends with him, then I can't be friends with you." [ or something like that ] But if he's willing to try and be your friend, then give him another chance. Just, don't try and talk about Brandon around him and don't try to have them hang out. But I would just try remaining friends with Tom, because if you go into a relationship with him, best friends and boyfriends who don't like eachother? Usually makes a turn for the worst.
And if Christina and Melanie [ haha my names Melanie, coincidence ] start spreading rumors, just confront them and let everyone else know too that you it doesn't seem like it's flirting to you and you just think you're talking and hanging out with the guys and stuff so you're sorry, but you don't notice, and you don't mean to. Apparently whenever I talk to guys too I "flirt" whenever to me, it's just hanging out with them and goofing around. But I don't let it get to me, I just tell people,"Sorry, to me it's not flirting, I don't notice it." I hope I helped. <3
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Wow! I'm confused too, but lets see if we can sort it out. *laughing*
OK. You still like Tom even though you know you shouldn't because he dislikes all your gay friends.
Right?
You really can't help your feelings a whole lot. However, unless you can change how he feels towards the rest of your friends I don't think it would work out in the long run. Changing his attitude would be wonderful but most likely isn't going to happen. Sad as that is.
The reason I don't think it will work is because a good deal of your time will be spent arguing. You hate his homophobic attitude and, being a smart cookie you won't be able to tolerate it. You would be miserable.
It may also hurt the feelings of your gay friends who might see it as you not being loyal to them. After all Tom has made no secret about how he feels for them.
Be friendly to Tom when you see him because he is probably a very nice, though ignorant guy. But I think a relationship with him would be very frustrating and aggravating in the long run. There are other guys out there.
Good luck. :)
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