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My brother's marriage
My brother and I were very close ,I always knew everything about me and vicea versa but since we move to Holland (he came fisrt than us) we grew apart...to my surprise he told us that he was gone married some church girl in june ....I talked to him and I notice that he was not ready to get married yet so I told him he should wait,
He told me that he still sleeps with another girl (my ex best friend)and he was to dump this girl 1 monthg before he get married and that he would not tell a word to this girl about his marriage...I didn't agree...I even tried to talk him out of his idea but he didn't listen ..
He married last month.....
Today I got a phone call from my brother telling me that he wants to divorce and that he thinks he is madly in love with another girl(my ex best friend)The point is that his wife went trough his stuff seeking found out about the other girl,She called her and told her to leave my brother alone because he was married....
His wife even went back to her parents and the other girl don't even want to see him again..
I know my brother was wrong and he agree
My point is that his wife knew he wasn't one woman man and still she agreed to marry him ..she told him that she will pray for things to change after they marry eachother ..Now she went telling lies about my brother to the whole familie .....Half of the family don't even talk to him anymore....
Concerning the other girl (ex best friend)she really didn't know he was gone marry....At first
she was kinda having a sex affair with my brother because her mother don't like poor people (only people with high class and good education ,that isa why I am not her friend anymore)Than she broke up with her bf to be with my brother and they felt really in love with eachother but than my brother didn't tell her about the marriage
SHe got really mad and told him: that she was using him all this time and that she didn't love him a bit and that she never broke up with her bf
She told him that he deserve to be burried alive and that she hopes that he never will be happy..
Than she called me and told me what my brother did to her (we talked to eachother about 2 years ago)I told her that I don't know what to say ..
My brother cried a lot I did't
have any words to tell him that everything will be alright
I know he was very wrong but I can't see him like this after all he is my brother and one off
my best friend
What can I say to him to take some of the pain away??..what can I do?
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Hi
You sound like a very caring sister...your brother is lucky to have you.
I hope I don't come across as being too harsh when I say this, but what your brother is going through right now are the consequences to the actions that he chose to take.
Life decisions can be very hard to deal with, but that's exactly what they are....our decisions. No one forced him to marry a woman he didn't love. The fact that his wife knew he wasn't a one woman man when she married him still gives him no right to do what he did.
I think your brother needs to do some soul searching and figure out exactly what he wants and needs in his own life. Until he figures it out, he shouldn't involve anyone else in his life romantically.
Unfortunately there's really nothing you can say to him to take his pain away. He needs to realize that he and only he dictates what happens in his life, and if he makes the wrong decisions, then he and only he will have to deal with them.
Just continue to be there for him. Letting him talk to you and tell you how he feels can really help him heal.
Take care,
Brenda
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They were all wrong in what they did. They are also all wrong for each other. Better he knows that now before he makes a mistake with your ex friends as well.
The women are of course hurt. They are going to say all kinds of hurtful things to him because they feel bad. They will stop sooner or later and he really needs to just stay away from them both and start over. He needs to stick with one girl and never get involved with two at once again!
Honestly, there probably isn't to much you can say to cheer your brother up right now. He will get over it but it will take some time. Just be there to listen when he needs to talk. That in itself will be a major source of comfort to him. :)
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