|
All in one
I have like 8 questions so its all in one so..
My uncle has cancer.He has for a couple months and he has had kemo and just the results and it didnt help him.And i know that he is ganna die because there is no cure for cancer.And everyone is acting like im dumb and talking queity around themselves like i dont know what there talking about and when i ask questions they look at me like what and there dumbfonded!!I am curiose i wanna know how long he has before he...and i know my questions are hard to answer but atlest they can lie to me and make me feel better but no they dont answer me and i kept in the dark i stay up late at night trying to answer my questions myself cause no one else will and my aunt yells at me saying that i shouldnt say up late at all hours of the night.And im close to this uncle i love him cause all my other family memebers like aunt and 1 other uncles are either dead or major jerks and i only see them and christmas.And ive been spending alot of time with my uncle and his wife asks me ohh why are you here???wonder why right but i only wanna see him cause my last aunt had cancer and the last time that everyone went to go see here i wne tto my uncle pooches cause she was too sick and i was only like 6 or somthing and i never saw her again.Well school is starting and i stayed back and if i dont start getting good grades people highly doubt that im ganna grauduate high school and im only in the middle but i want good grades i wanna be like yeah suprised im smart ohh but im scared that im ganna get the news that my uncle is dead in the middle of school and start crying infront of everyone i hate crying ifront of my own mother cause she gets worried so i havent cried yet.Cause i will breck down cause i love my uncle and ive tried telling my closest frineds and there like its only your uncle great thing to say to someone right.I am also over weight in wiegh i think almost 200 pounds and im 14 so i wanna go on a diet so and i cant go to the stpore and buy fruit and my mom dont so i was thinking of eating a little of bad food cause its all i got.and i also eat anytime i wantso i want that to stop so when should i stop eating at night and start in the morning....and hoiw many meals and snacks...i know it super long but please help i need it....
From
no2young
but my actual name is katie and tootsierollsweet999 <33
[ ]
Want to answer more questions in the Work & School category?
Maybe give some free advice about: School?
I know what you're going through. I moved around a lot and except for my family, all my aunts, uncles, grandparents they all live in Korea.
My favorite uncle was diagnosed with Cancer. I was seven then and I didn't know what was going on. (I was in Malaysia then) My parents didn't tell me anything about it and I really wish they had so I could've at least wrote him a letter. I found out that he had cancer when he died and I still miss him.
All the other uncles I have aren't really your typically friendly uncles...they're bleh.
And now my grandmother who is 83 lost all the teeth and it's too late for her to get dentures, can't eat and is having digestive problems and she might pass awya soon. The worst part is that I'm half way around the country and no one is there to take care of her.
My parents won't tell me much about any of these stuff so this is what I do: When they talk, I go into the next room and pretend I'm doing something else in there (read a book, listen to music, etc) and I just listen to them.
I know that evsdropping isn't a nice thing...but hey they won't tell me.
I'm 14 too and I think you deserve to know what's happening to your uncle. Just straight out tell them (if yoou want) that you deserve to know what's going on and that you would want to know everything that's going on. (Add in a few tears..maybe the guilt will work ;) Tell them that you're old enough to hear and understand the situation and to not look at you like a 5year old kid who is wondering around clueless.
Prove to them that you are mature enough to be included in the conversations.
And your friends probably don't know what heartache this is bringing you because they themselves haven't been caught in this situation. So don't blame them for being insensative.
Crying isn't a bad thing at all and if you do break down in school, explain to them that your dear uncle passed away (although don't think about it yet. Your uncle may survive cancer. Pray and hope for a miracle.)
I rarely cry in front of my friends and family but when I do break down in school, i steer AWAY from guidance counslers and adults. They are nothing but a hassel.
Anywhos about dieting. Dieting like crash diets or such are harmful and in the end can make you gain weight.
When you don't eat over a period of time regulary, your body starts saving up the fat instead of using them because no more is coming in! Plus it makes your tired, cranky, and such. So going ana or bulimic isn't the way
Here's a healthy way to live.
Eating--Eat healthy. Stay AWAY from junk foods like chips, ice cream, candies.
Eat a healthy breakfast like a bowl of cereal or scrambled eggs and toast. When you eat toast, apply jam and not butter or penut butter. They're all fat fat fat. eek.
In between breakfast/lunch & lunch/dinner eat a small snack. Maybe half a cup of baby carrots and some ranch dressing (don't dunk them) Or some fruit like an apple or banana. This will help you control you from over eating at meals or reaching for that evil second plate
The key is if you want to drink something, stick with water. Soda? Make it diet soda. Milk? No choco milk or anything. 1% Lowfat milk is better.
Stay away from sugary fattening food (Poptarts, candy, ice cream, cake) and microwave meals/frozen meals because they contain a lot of bad fat.
Tell your mom that you would like to be healthy and not die from being overwiehgt in the future. Have her buy fruits and vegetables that you can munch on as a snack.
Never never never skip a meal or overeat in one sitting. Eat slowly and don't gobble everything down. It takes your brain at least 20min to think that you're full.
Try not to stress because stress alone can fatten you.
For exercise, take a walk for 30min every other day (at least 3 times a week)with friends, pets, family. Or do jump rope for 15 min every other day. Switch it up every week to make your body work harder. Do pilates or yoga...well I suck at yoga but pilates is good.
When your watching tv, stay away from food and do little crunches on the floor while watching. Just move around. Standing burns more calories then sitting and if you move around while standing, better.
I hope your uncle will over come the cancer and good luck on losing weight. I'm glad you are planning to go healthy =]
]
Phew that's some problem you have there. Let's take it in order:
It's great you care that much about your uncle, it's really terrible that he has cancer, but please keep in mind that there are cures for cancer these days, ok, they don't work for everyone but things are improving. You need to find out more details.
I understand that everyone is very upset about all this, and most people will find it difficult to talk about, especially to younger family members. Could you perhaps write a letter to your mum or aunt? Try to explain how scared you are and how you feel about your uncle. Also that you understand how difficult things are at the moment, but you need someone to talk to you about all this. Tell them that you remember what happened to your aunt so you really need more information. Write it so that it is coming from concern for your uncle and not for yourself. You need to be careful you're not seen as being selfish at this point in time. If the letter works and someone does talk to you, stay calm and go into more detail, especially if it's your mum. Tell her you are so upset by it all that it is disturbing your sleep and affecting your grades in school.
Maybe you should cry in front of your mother, it may worry her, it may be worrying her that you haven't cried. She is not to know what is going on inside your head. It is up to you to communicate this.
If your uncles cancer is terminal, it would be a good idea if you actually tell him you love him before it's too late. It will make him happy and avoid you regretting for years that you never took the opportunity.
If none of this is possible, talk to a family friend or school councillor, and ask if they can act as a go between, your mum really does need to know what is going on with you.
Now to the school thing. Staying back a year can seem like the end of the world but if you look on it as another opportunity, you could find this is the break you need to get your studies under control. Ask for all the help you need, your school will want you to succeed. If they are also aware of all the problems you are facing at the moment they will want to do everything they can to help.
And onto the weight problem. 200lbs is a little heavy for 14 unless you are very tall, but it is not a disaster either. Try to eat 6 small well balanced meals a day, eat 5 portions of fruit and veg each day, again try to talk to your mum and explain what you are trying to do and if she can get more nutritional food in. Some exercise every day is good, a brisk walk for 20-30 minutes, or a a few lengths of a pool, something to get your heart beating faster and get you a little out of breath, but don't go mad, especially when you first start. Try not to eat too many calories after 6pm, stick to fruit and low cal snacks, as the body is winding down for the night from then and won't burn them off so well. You need to eat regularly so that your body doesn't think there is a famine and stores fat.
Don't expect results overnight, but if you manage to stick to this you should start to notice a difference within a month. The slower you lose the weight the less likely you will be to put it back on. Also, please bear in mind that at your age, some of it is likely to be puppy fat, which you should lose naturally as you get older. However, a sensible eating plan is always a good idea.
I really hope that helps, I wish you and your family the very best of luck at this difficult time. If you want to come back to me, please do.
]
More Questions: |