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Boyfriend has self-harm issues
My boyfriend has self-harm issues. On three occasions when we have had an argument, hes physically hurt himself (scrabbed, cut, bruise). It hurts so much, and we have discussed it, he told me it wouldnt happen again, but it has. I have went to friends (close friends) for guidance and advice. My boyfriend tells me that this is wrong in the past,and that we should sort things out among ourselves. But when I am hurt,annoyed, afraid over situations, is it wrong to talk to close friends? I am slightly ascared incase it gets out that I have had to talk to friends.
On one occasion after a fight I was scared, put him on loud speaker to talk,with my friends there,just to let them know what I have to go through, and he threatened to hurt himself.
I dont know what to do sometimes,how can I make him stop? And is it wrong to talk to friends about issues of this manner. I know nothing is gonna be said, but its in my head.I am SO afraid incase he hurts himself, he said he never would do it again, and he did...I threatened to tell his mother, to make him see sense.
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Well the first thing i could think of is to pray for him. And when you do have complete faith in God and know that everything will be okay. :D
-ASHllYN♥
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If your boyfriend physically hurts himself, telling his mother should not be a threat, it should be an action. If his mother denies it, and does not believe you (which may happen). Talk to your parents about sitting down with your boyfriend and his parents to discuss the matter. If he says he won't do it again, but you catch him, go to the authorities or a pro psychiatrist. You're boyfriend may be upset if you tell authorities or psychiatrists (if you tell them, you boyfriend might be sent to re-hab which is good for him when he is in danger like this) but when he truly realizes that what he did could possibly have been fatal if he had continued these actions he will thank you.
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He may have issues with harming himself, but the bigger issue is that he is using this to control you. You do not have to put up with that, and you should tell him so.
Do not allow him to get away with his emotional manipulation any longer. You need to end this relationship NOW, while he is still merely bruising himself instead of threatening suicide. I would strongly recommend that you inform his mother of what he is doing so that she can get him some help.
When you break up with him, he's probably going to hurt himself and make you feel guilty about it. Do NOT go back to him! It will only validate his methods and make things worse.
You erred slightly when you involved your friends. It isn't any of their business. That is a small thing compared to what he is doing, though, so don't concern yourself too much with it.
Perhaps after he deals with his self-punishment issues, you can have a relationship again, but he obviously can't handle it right now.
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Don't threaten to tell his mom, do it. He obviously can't stop on his own and he is making it your problem too, so take care of it. His threats to you are mental abuse.
It is not wrong of you to talk to your friends. Not wrong at all. If you didn't you would be nuts by now.
You need to do what is right for you. It may mean getting out of the relationship at some point.
Should you ever decide that is best for you, don't be made to stay by his threats. That is mental abuse. Tell his mom, leave and whatever happens is not your fault, nor your responsibility.
He is not happy now with you...so
should you leave it won't get much worse.
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