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Our baby is a strain on the relationship
15/f
About a year ago my boyfriend and I went against our better judgement and I ended up pregnant. So now we have a baby. It's put a real strain on our relationship. At first we argued over abortion, then adoption,and finally I ended up giving in and keeping the baby. We've been trying to share the responsibility this summer, but since the baby lives with me he doesn't understand my feelings, even if I try to tell him. The baby sometimes stays with him for a week, but apparently that isn't enough. Whenever he's around me all he seems to care about is the baby. Yesterday we had the oppurtunity to hang out alone and mom would watch the baby... but my boyfriend declined. I'm around the baby all the time so it's really irritating. Does he care about hisson more than me now? What's going on?
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he doesnt care about the baby more than you
i think its just that since s/he lives with you, he doesnt feel as involved, and is trying to be. and i know how crazy a baby can be, not as much as you im sure, but i get it
my 19 year old sister just had a baby, andis living with my dad, who i live with most of the time.
i am always watching her and such
but you should be greatful he wants to see the baby, and is taking a part in it...
my best friends sister just had a baby at almost 16, and the boy doesnt even speak to her, even though they had been dating for about a year and a half.
it is an amazing thing he wants to be in the childs life.
good luck with everything, and if you need help with ANYTHING else, baby things or whatever, feel free to ask me : )
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im actully glad you asked this question im 15 and pregnant and i have been worrying about this alot. i think he doesnt feel as if he is much involed in the babies life. tell your mom you would like to sit down and have a talk with him so she can watch the baby look him in the eyes make sure he is staring you in the eyes and tell him you feel and tell him how much you want your twos relationship to work out.. good luch sweetie
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It's not a matter of him caring for his son more than he does you. Honelsty you should be proud if he does. You have a child together niether you nor him can change that but both of you can affect that. There are not many men out there who will take on that kind of feeling or responsibility. You are young and may or may not underdstand that yet. It is better to go thru a situation like you are having then many alternantives. A lot of young men even adult men don't even see thier children, they don't want to, there are many men who will deny them. You should be thankfull that your child has a father that loves him and wants more time with him. You said that sometimes your child stays a week with him and that is not enough. Well for him it's probably not. i am married with four children and have a husband in the military who spends most of his time away from the family. It is not easy by any means for me or my kids we all love him and miss him very much. But when he comes home he wants his time with the kids. He's more depressed about the things he misses out on with them while he's gone then being away from me i am proud of that. Yes i love him and i want my time with him but me and him can make up for lost time. You can't replace the special moments of raising a child and the things that you miss when they get older. We are gown so if we are away from eachother for a year we can get away the next. Having a new child especially young is hard i had my first at 15. It's hard on the both of you i can understand where you are coming from. But you said your son lives with you so he is with you day in and day out. There is no way for the father to understand you having to be away when he has him you shouldnt expect him to be ok with being away from his son either. And since you have had a child you can't be selfish about your feelings it's not about you and his relationship any more you are parents. You need a mother and father relationship not a dream realationship that it will any way be like it used to. the best advice that i could give you would be to sit like two adults. and talk about your feelings as a couple and then talk about your expectations of eacother as parents. If he wants more time then you should give him more time. You can;t force him to want to be with you. But you should honor him being a father and wanting to be with his son. it's give and take not just take. You have to fexible..
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He needs to really experience taking care of the baby. You know when he has his turn his mom is doing all or most of the work!
Maybe, if you are on good terms with his mom, you can have her let him do most of the work for a weekend and let him get a real taste of having a baby 24/7.
I have done it. It is tough. Hang in there though
it will get better. Be sure and bring it up about his really not understanding though. He needs to do some of the work himself. :)
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