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I dont want a subject line!
What do I do if my friend's boyfriend is starting to get physically abusive towards her? Like he always "play" hits her but he goes out of control and keeps "playing" even though she's saying stop. The other day she told me he hit her for real. She barely did anything and he hit her on her face and arm. I personally want to kill him. But what can I tell her? Because she really loves him. That's why she has stayed with him that long. Everytime she calls me she always has something to say about something that he did and tonight when she called me it really made me sad/mad for her. So someone please give me some tips on what to say to her or do for her... Thanks =/
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tell her playin is all good.. but serioulsy hitting someone can become a a horrible way of life in that realtionship she can end up gettin hurt bad.. if not worse tell her if she doesnt have a death wish to brake up with him as soon as possible.. once an abuser always an abuser
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there is only one thing you can do, you need to talk to her, be there for her, tell her what you see through your eyes. say that the relationship she is in is not safe,and she has to get out. this guy will not change once someone hits another person they won't stop, it is a constant cycle. i would also advise to allow her to come over your house some day soon, get some books on physical abuse and tell her that you are really worried about her, and that she needs to get help. allow her to read the books and see what she has gotten herself into. the best thing you could do is be there for her when she needs you most. because she might be so blinded by this "love" for this guy that she can't see what is really going on. or she can see it but she is afraid to get out, maybe he has threated her. i am not sure, but it is always possible. if things get to the point where she realizes she needs to get out, and she is ready stick with her all the way. if he is the type to go completly crazy you will have to get a restraning order. if things get to bad. physical abuse is a really big thing and one thing can lead to another. what she thinks she has is not love, it is only a feeling of longing. he has told her so many compliments to make her feel good about herself, and yet he abuses her. it's not good. if it would help you could let her read what i have just written and maybe she will see that she is not in the best position to be in. there are guys out there that will not abuse her, and she needs to find one, because this guy is bad news, and i am very thankful she has a friend like you to see what she doesn't, and someday she will too. i would advise to do these things asap, because you want her to get out of that realtionship as soo as she can, otherwise it will be harder for her to get out. i wish you the best of luck, and hope everything work out. :)
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I don't think you are taking this too hard. It is obvious that you care about your friend a lot, and that is a great thing for someone to have. You should sit her down and tell her everything that you feel about her situation. But what you shouldnt do, is get mad or question her too much about why shes still with him or why she hasnt done anything. Dont do anything to condem her for it (which im sure you probably wouldnt purposely) because she will shut herself off from you and not tell you when/if he hits her again. Just be the best friend you can and try to help her see that its not right for him to be that way towards her.
<3
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I would tell her parents about it. It isn't only adults who are abusers teenage girls are abused all the time. It is not acceptable any time. Playing and not hurting someone is one thing, but if she tells him to stop and he continues...thats abuse. I hate the title of this site but here is a page of info that may help you to decide if she is being abused. If so then tell her parents. :)
[Link](Mouse over link to see full location)
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All you can do is tell her how you feel about the situation and tell her how youre worried about her. But, thats ALL. Once you tell her and if she doesnt agree with it, just forget about it and be ready to listen to her the next time it happens.
Whatever you do, make sure youre their for her.
I was in the same exact position
Good luck
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