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Need to lighten up
I am a male in his 40's who has always had a hard time being sociable. It is starting to affect my work and social life. My fiance and I will be married next month and I am scared to death meeting a new family. And im pretty uptight at work ,I hardly speak to anyone,so they think that I am a prude. But its not the case, since I can be myself with people that I care about. Its pretty depressing,and I have to find a way out of it. I hope someone out there can help me be more outgoing. Id like to enjoy the rest of my life without being afraid of talking to people. Thanks in advance, JB33
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ok, this is something alot of people have a problem with. i would suggest you try complimenting someone, just out of the blue. for example, a guy you work with, but dont realy know, gets a new tie, when you see him say, "nice tie is it new?" or anything like that. or if you have a problem with something at work, [example, computer problem] ask someone you dont know if they know what to do about it. try to start conversations with people or ask some newer people if theyed like to go with you to lunch [example 2 or 3 people]. as for your fiance, every man in the world is terrified to meet his fiance's family, its natural, but you cant let it make you so nervous. calm down, and treat them like your own family, talk to them as if youve known them for years.
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Hey,
I agree with the previous response that visiting a counsellor would be the best option for you, also if money is an issue talk to your gp about it. If the reason you are so shy and have trouble being sociable could be something called aspergers syndrome. This is basically a type of autism that affects a persons social abilities, when you were a child it was not recognizable to most doctors many 40 year olds are now being diagnosed with it and there are treatments that are available including some medications that are anti-anxiety medications and tricks that a doctor can give you to deal with social situations.
Again only a doctor can diagnose you and if you have an anxiety disorder then there is treatment out there.
Hope this helped.
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Sometimes I feel the same way. I know this isn't an option for everyone, but going to see a counselor or therapist does help. I know it's hard to take that first step and maybe it doesn't seem like a big enough deal to go see one, but really it will help. Being able to talk to someone about this that *knows* about it is going to be a big relief. He or she will be able to tell you what to do to best get out of this "rut" you're in. The only advice I would have other than that is to slowly try and start talking to people. Even if it's just a "hi" and a smile, they will appreciate it. That's always what starts great relationships. How did you meet your fiance? You had to be somewhat sociable to do that, right? Just think back to how you acted and maybe that can guide you. Hope this helps, and good luck.
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