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He can't say he likes me a lot, but cheat on me.
He said, "I like you a lot, more than any other girl I've ever liked. I would never cheat on you. I hate people who cheat, they deserve to be punched in the face" so I thought, I don't think he'd ever cheat, even though it's pretty obvious he still has something for his ex. I trusted him, which is hard for me to do, I have trust issues.
So we were hanging out one night, things were at its best, and then my bf invited me to his friends camp, because it was rumored that there was going to be a party there. I said I would, but then the morning of I called & told him I wasn't going to go. The reason I didn't want to go was because he told me there was going to be a bunch of girls there from another local school, and most likely his ex. From what I've heard about her, she seemed like a phsyco. I never met her, but it seemed like I knew a lot about her because my bf would talk about her more than he should've. So I thought I wouldn't go because it'd be akward -- me, my bf, his ex... because it was obvious they were both still in love with each [they even lost their virginity to each other back in Feb] and because I'd be a tag along because I didn't know most of the people going and he did. So I trusted him that he wouldn't do anything with his ex, and if he did, then it just wasn't meant to be. Turns out she was the only girl who went, but a dozen other guys went.
Then ever since he came back from one day + night from his friends camp, he was different. Stopped calling me back, made plans to hang out with me, but then never followed through. He'd go to the movies with his firiends from the school that she goes to, but he never said she went but I'm almost positive she did ... I have reasons. He was really distant and I thought, get ready he's going to break up with you. I finally talked to him about it because it was really upsetting me and he's like, "If I didn't like you I wouldn't be dating you. It wouldn't be fair to either of us. I've just been busy with sports and my friends were getting mad because they haven't seen me all summer." His friends have seen him during the summer, but whatev, didn't argue with him, just was said it was alright.
The next night, the truth came out when he called me. He didn't tell me until over a week later. He said, "I have something to tell you, and it's not good. But I like you a lot, so you deserve to know. When I went to his camp, my ex gf started hitting on me and at first I was just ignoring her and then I started to go along with it and then we started kissing and we made out, but it was nothing serious, but I like you a lot so you deserved to know..." I was like, ".......Well, thanks for telling me. Like a week later." He said, "I just didn't know how to tell you. I'm sorry. The next time you see me, if you ever want to see me again, you can kick me in the nuts." Then I said I had to go. I got online and this is how the convo went:
him: "Hey..."
me: "what"
him: "im sorry"
me: "no you're not!"
him: "yes i am"
And that was it. Haven't talked since. It's been 2 days. None of us said we were done with, over, whatever, but is it assumed? He took out the date that we started dating in his aim profile, but his myspace still says in a relationship & I'm still on the numero uno spot and he still has "[my name] = amazing" on it. I'd really like to talk to him/bitch at him, because I never did and I'm still upset and angry. So now what? Is he just not going to talk to me again? It's not like he's waiting for me to cool down a bit or something, because I didn't really show any expression of being angry or upset. I got off the phone with him before I could. I don't really think he cares, because he is one of those guys who can't stick to one girl for a long time. His longest relationship was 4 months and that was with his ex, the girl he cheated on me with, and maybe they are back together. it seems like they were back together before me and him broke up... but I don't even know if we did break up. Maybe it's just assumed. I don't know.
The morning after he confessed, I was talking to a friend of ours. This friend is closer to my boyfriend than me, but we talked about it, this is what he said:
Me: So did you & everyone else who went to (friends name)s camp 2 weekends ago know what happened with (bf's name) and (his ex's name)? And I'm just the last to know?
Him: Who told you, and what'd they say?
Me: He did. He said they made out, but it was nothing serious & he was "sorry" and "likes me a lot"
Him: oh well i dont really know what happend cause no one really paid attention. idk thats a tough spot because i mean he obviously cares if he decided to tell you cause he could have kept it a secret but i realize that probuly still dosent make it feel any better cause one of my old g/f's made out with another guy and when i found out i was pretty mad and upset.
Me: Well if he cared he wouldn't have done it.
Him: yea i mean im not saying its right cause its not at all cause i was hurt when it happend to me so i know but me and him have had some serious talks before and he always told me how he likes serious relationships so i dont think he did it because he still likes her.
Me: i really do think he still likes her a lot, like it's really obvious but i knew that from the start i was too retarded to say anything
Him: you wernt retarded, it was wishful thinking, which happens to everyone. idk to tell you the truth and you cant tell him i told you this or ill sound mean for saying it but i cant see him with one girl. it seems like the girl that he is hanging out with at the time is his girl then it changes with the next girl he hangs out with, so i dont think its as much as he likes her just she was there and the time.
So what do I do? Obviously dump him if we're not broken up. But if he really liked me like he said he did, he'd try to fix things, right? But he's not really trying, more like acting like we never happened.. He's not doing anything to make up for it. He's not talking to me. Does it seem like he didn't really care for me? You can't fool around with another girl and say you like me! It's too contradicting!
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Boy that was long. Lol.
Honestly hun, I don't think he is worth your time. I agree with you that if he really liked you he would try to fix things, but he didn't. Also the fact that he made out with his ex clearly shows that he still had a little bit of feelings for her. I kind of understand how you're feeling about him fooling around with another girl, yet he tells you he likes you. When that happened to me I realized that he wasn't worth my time and that there's another guy out there that's better for me than him. All you need is time to forget about him. You don't deserve this pain. You deserve someone better than that. I hope I helped you.
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That's horrible.
And that person before me is right.
Once a cheater, always a cheater.
What i'd say is tell him you have to talk to him and that it's important. Ask him, "Well, after telling me that you hate cheaters, why'd you do it? You can't tell me you like me more than anyone, then go and make out with your ex."
Put him on the spot, maybe you'll find out more stuff than you already know.
And at the end of your conversation, if you want it to be, end it. No girl deserves a guy like that, i don't care how much he says he cares about you, actions speak louder than words, and it was proved in your situation.
Good luck hun. <3
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OK wow a very long question but im here to help ! Well a question i have is you kept saying he was saying he really liked you but i never onece read that you were truly in love with him. If you are truly in love with him like he seems to be with you keep the relationship going and call him and say " what you did really hurt me and i thought deeply about breaking up with you but i couldnt do it because i am so madly inlove with you " try that and if u need anymore information just let me know i hope i helped !!!!
= )
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"I like you a lot, more than any other girl I've ever liked. I would never cheat on you. I hate people who cheat, they deserve to be punched in the face"
thats exactly what my ex said to me. him and i were really good friends before we went out. he had this one girl that he said he was supposed to go out with a couple times before but then he never did, the whole time we were going out she'd be around the corner. i felt bad telling him that i didnt want him to hang out with her but i told him that i didnt trust her. then he told me exactly what your ex said to you. it made me believe him for a day and then i heard that he kissed the girl i was worried about. he told me that he would never do anything with her. i asked him if he's done anything sexual with her and he said no. she has braces and he said that her giving him a bj would be like a cheese grater. i found out a couple months ago that she did give him a bj while we were going out. now theyre together, but everyday he tries convince me that he didnt cheat. moral of the story, when a guy says that, dont trust them. i have trust issues too. and just remember, once a cheater, always a cheater.
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