|
my best friends all hate my boyfriend
i have an amazing boyfriend that i really love. but my best friends think he is a pot-smoking jerk even though hes only smoked pot once! and just because we got in a fight a while ago they are convinced hes out to hurt me and just wants to make-out..but the thing is i LOVE making out with him..today my best friend said he was ugly and she often compares huge losers to my bf and she makes me cry..no matter what i say she doesnt believe that he is a great guy even though he is..how do i show her that hes not like she thinks and also get her to stop insulting him?? ive tried telling her it hurts my feelings but she keeps doing it.
[ ]
Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Love Life?
Of course Geenbeanie is right. How you handle the "chat" is up to you. Personally I would be rather stern about it. Make it absolutely clear without being rude, that this kind of behaviour is not to be tolerated.
Start out by telling her that you think she is a great friend (or something in those lines), so she is aware that you arent disrespecting your relationship. Then inform her that she is jeopardising this friendship. What she needs to understand most of all, is that this actually isnt a question of whether she likes your bf or not. This is a question of her showing respect to you and to the choices you have made. A real friend will not put you in a situation where you have to choose (at least not based solely on personal whims and dislikes).
Best of luck.
]
well if your friend makes you cry intentionally - ditch her (just until you work things out with her and makes sure she understands that this isn't her place to make you feel bad about your choice.)even though she is trying to help (i know she's trying to help) sometimes you need to work things out for yourself. ask yourself the question - do you love your boyfriend or do you love the fact that you have him? thats the most important thing - do you love the IDEA of being in love or are you actually in love with the PERSON?
]
i understand about the whole bf thing and you love them. It sounds to me like your best friend is just looking out for you and is having to re-trust him again because of previous expierinces with him hurting your feelings. I think she is stil angry about that fight yall had long ago so insulting him sometimes helps. She doesnt mean them she just says them to get the anger about him off her chest cause the last thing she wants to happen is you to be hurt. I think she believes now that he is a great guy. Trust me she cares a lot about you and loves you like a sister and you have no idea how much ou mean to her..your frienship it what keeps her going everyday. But maybe that frienship with you and her isnt working...i dont think you should let her see this cause it can hurt her cause your friendship means a lot to her. And she never told you this but you are considered her sister and sometimes when people ask her how man sisters she has she says 3..fill in the blanks..hope this advice can help.
]
Dear Friend,
It's always a hard situation to be in when your friends and boyfriend don't get along.
Listen to your friends, but don't side with them when it comes to something you need to have the final say in. Stay calm and rational even when they upset you, so they won't be given the upper hand in any arguments you might have.
I think a very serious chat is in order with your best friend. You and your boyfriend love each other, and if she can't be supportive of you and civil to him, she's not holding up her end of the friendship. Tell your friend that you'd react the same way if your boyfriend was making similar remarks about her, and that she upsets you more than he could.
Hope you sort it out.
Love,
Ainsley.
]
More Questions: |