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I found THE ONE, but almost ruined it...
I'm a 24/F, and I've been with my bf for over 3 years. We are both college graduates who own our own homes, and are independent in every sense of the word. Since we've been together, it's been the plan that "when the time is right" we will sell our respective houses, and buy one together.
Well, last winter we had an argument. I was casually asking about the future, and his reaction was harsh and very negative. He mentioned that he isn't thinking about marriage any time soon, and that he isn't feeling that way about us right now. I'm not a child, nor am I naiive. I would not be in a relationship with someone who was in any way irresponsible or wishy-washy about me. I have to mention that during this time I was on an extremely strong anti-depressant, prescribed to me because I was feeling tired (that's another story).
To sum it up, this argument with him shattered my heart. I thought he felt the same way about me and was moving in the same direction. I wasn't expecting anything like that response, and it literally shook my emotions to the core.
Unfortunately, the next day was my regular meeting with a friend from college. We had been hanging out every week. Long story short, I drank myself silly, and ended up in bed with my "friend." I don't remember much of it and I actually blacked out. I felt horrible and sick the next morning...and immediately cut all ties with this person. I haven't seen him since.
After going off that horrible drug, my life began to resolve itself and go back to normal. Things with my boyfriend improved 200%. It turned out I drastically overreacted and he had been on the defense since I started taking the drug and was acting emotional about everything.
Now I am positive he's the one, and I know that our relationship would never be the same if I told him what happened. I feel like there's absolutely no reason, and no good could ever come our of my telling him. I want to marry him, and he's been talking about getting engaged. Do you think there's any reason to tell him about a one-night mistake that I've all but eaten myself with guilt about? What is the "right" thing to do here? I have never felt anything for anyone except bf since we met, and don't ever plan to.
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No, don't tell him. It will ruin everything between the two of you. I am not optimistic about relationships working out after an incidence of cheating, but you seems like you are genuinely doing everything in your power to work towards it. I'm glad that you cut all ties with your old friend, that is step #1. There isn't anything you can do about your guilt, telling him won't make you feel better, instead you'll still feel guilty (more so, after seeing his reaction) and he'll feel like crap. Just work hard to be the best you can be in your relationship now, that's all I can tell you. Again, I tend to believe that cheating is always the end, sometimes the begining of the end, but still. It sounds like you're for real though so good luck.
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