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why me??! (sorry if its long)
Hi. Im 15/f
Here's my problem...How come I always get the wrong guys??and never have relationship longer than 2 weeks?
Like, one of my ex, he was all sweet and i thought he was the best and it could all work up to good relationship, but not even going on second day of going out, he tells me he have to move, and that we should stay just friends because long distant wont work...so i agree... then what do i find out? he didnt move and he asked one of my friend out!
but i got over that because he did/does drugs and drinks and stuff...
I also had another bf who did drugs and drinks...
And after long time, I finally met this guy who I thought was such a perfect guy...Even on the first day, we hit off so good. Like we had so much in common and he said he would rather prefer some romantic things over sex.
So I thought, wow this really could be it, but we dont live near each other, because I met him at where my mom works at, which is about 40 minutes away, but I would still get to see him over weekends, because he said he would come to see me since he can practically walk over to where I work at (which is where my mom works too)
So i thought great, and he asked me out in most cutest way, so i said yeah sure. Problem is, that he doesnt have his own phone, or so he says. So he has my phone number and he was going to do all the calling, because he said he can only use pay phone. But He did call me for two days, which is how long we have been dating, but now he doesnt even call anymore. And once, he had told me that he is just meeting his ex girlfriend which they both have no feelings what so ever. And now he's asking me about all sex questions if i am going to do it or not.
So now i am really confused and I am wondering what did I do wrong to get guys that are like that. Either druggie/drunk, cheaters, only after sex.
I mean I dont dress slutty at all, I dress more like skater, I get straight A's.
Also, can some one give me a place where I can meet guys that are not like that? I mean I know that it is total random place because people are everywhere but I just dont want to get hurt anymore.
Thank you in advance
From, Confused and Lost
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Maybe give some free advice about: Love Life?
well....you seem to know that you date shitty guys so why keep doing it? you're aware of who you go out with, so stop going out with them. go after different guys. and if somebody is asking you questions about sex and youre not comfortable with it tell them to fuck off...because it sounds like he was trying to get you to go out with you so he could use you. if you see any of the signs in your past bf in one that you might consider dating, dont date them. its that simple :)
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Dear Confused and Lost,
This might seem like common sense, but before being a boyfriend, don't you think it would make sence to be friends? In one of those cases it seems like you kind of rushed into things.
Here's a suggestion: set a limit of minimum time before you go out with a guy after meeting him. I would say something like 3 months, but you can change that - keep it reasonable. Why wait three months before dating some guy? Because it takes time, usually a lot more than 3 months, to find out what a person is really like. Why not just go out with him if we both like each other right away? Because it is while you are dating that you will get to know each other, and all too fast and too much. Do you see what I mean?
Maybe in those few weeks or months, you could find out something that you don't like about the guy or realize that he is not what you thought.
I don't think you did anything wrong to get guys that are like that. Upsetting? Probably. Always going to be that way? Absolutely not. Dating is just like experimenting, testing. So yeah nothing wrong with experimenting now or even later. Better now than after marriage right?
The people you encounter doesn't depend on who you are or what you do. So it doesn't mean that you are doing anything wrong in particular. I suggest to just not rush into things - the quicker things develop, the quicker things might as well end; kind've like easy come easy go.
As to places to meet better guys... there is no specific place where all the good guys meet up to wait for people to find them. School is usually a good place, guaranteed to see a certain amount of guys a few times during the year. Like I said, they're everywhere, and usually not found in clusters. Who knows, some potential boyfriends that could be great might even be some of the friends you have that you wouldn't expect it to be. So don't give up, but don't talk to meet guys just with the intention or mindset of a possible relationship. Being regular friends and getting to know each other is key to starting a relationship. Good things come to those who wait. Hope that helped and good luck.
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