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made a big mistake...
I have been in a serious relationship with my boyfriend for 3 years. During that time, we have had some problems but have worked them out and have been doing very well, until lately. I don't know why I did this, but I cheated on my boyfriend with someone who is a very close friend of mine and have even developed strong feelings for...but I still honestly love my boyfriend. I didn't know it was possible for me to not only cheat, but do it for a few months while my boyfrined thought everything was fine. I also didn't know it was possible for me to love two people at the same time.
So, as much as it hurt to do this, I told my boyfriend about everything yesterday and, of course, he is beyond hurt. I knew I had to come clean with him to start setting things right. I want to be with my boyfriend and that's why I needed to tell him - to start to put the trust back in the relationship. However, I am still very confused about my feelings for the other guy, which are very valid and real (and he feels them for me as well). It killed me to hurt my boyfriend like that, and to keep something going outside the relationship for so long, but I really need advice at this point. I am lost and don't know what to do... thanks for any help!
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Oh my god, I've been there me and my boyfriend have been together for over 3 1/2 years and it was love at first site, when I told him about the other guy, he totally rejected me, but in a couple days he called me back and wanted to meet up. We are going strong again now, and it was because I told him, as you told your boyfriend, I honestly think that they would rather hear it from your then from someone else so you did the right thing by telling him...... the other guy needs to know that you really do love your boyfriend and that this can't go on....if you think you love the other guy more then maybe it's time to ask for a break try something different.... if your really miserable with this other guy then you know your boyfriend was the one true guy.... but if your happy with the other man then you know what your heart wants. That or ask for a break and be single for a while....just to be able to think about what you need and what you want.......I know that it will be hard but maybe it's the best way to go because being with him constantly is going to make it even harder, time apart could be what you really need....it could show you just how much you really do love him...... I hope that I helped and sorry if I never....plz rate...
-BabyShammy-
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I would try couple conselin they can help you.
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First, you need to ask youself the question of who you love more. If it's not your boyfriend that you love more, then maybe you should talk to him about things? Perhaps it's time to move on if that's the case? Communication is essential in a relationship whether it's begining, continuing, or ending.
You stated that you want to be with your boyfriend. That can only happen if your relationship with the other guy is non-existant. So don't be confused about your feelings for this other person, because he's obiviously second to your boyfriend. And in something like a bf/gf relationship, there is no room for seconds.
A true relationship with a boyfriend or girlfriend is exclusive. There shouldn't be "other interests" or "flings" durring the time you are together. I don't mean to be harsh, but if you can't be faithful to your boyfriend now, how will you be able to stay faithful to him as a wife? I believe that being someone's boyfriend or girlfriend gives you a little taste of what it would be like to have that person as a spouse.
You came clean about it to your boyfriend, and that was very brave of you. In my oppinion, the next step is to continue to be faithful to your boyfriend if you know that you love him. That means cutting off contact with this other guy. A new person can seem exciting sometimes, but you'll almost always find that once you really get to know them, they aren't as great as you thought they were. On the other had, you have your boyfriend who, dispite what you have done, probably still loves you very much.
If you do love your boyfriend, he's the only one that you have room for, so to speak. You've both been hurt, but things can heal. It will just take trust, commitment, and some time. You'll find your way thought this, I know it seems impossible, but you'll get through it.
Hope that helped somewhat! Good luck!
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Ok well at first the boy is really sad he might want to break up with you, you can say you will never do it agian but it will be hard for him to believe that because thats what everyone says and usually they dont admit just tell him you know what you did was wrong and you hope that he can forgive you and you want him to gain your trust back with a step at and time and you dont want to rush anything. hope i helped bye.
*~Sharifa~*
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