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fwb?
Alright I see you anwser alot of questions on advicenators.com, so I'll ask you a question.
I used to have a crush on this guy, Charlie. I wanted to make out wth him, and date him for a long time but then he went to college and I never saw him anymore. Well a month or so ago, I saw him at a party and things happened and we made out. Things progressed and we decided to be friends with benefits. It was to be on the down-Low.
He told me that he doesn't want a relationship with girls because all girls are sweet at first then they turn out to be phsyco.
He's totally hot and we've had sex a few times. I'm not going to lie, the sex is great. But now lately we just hang out or talk on the phone. He doesn't try anything with me, although he does encourage me to call him every night, and tells me to be careful. There is obvious flirting and chemistry going on between us.
I wouldn't really call us "friends" - Although that could be debatable. He sends mixed signels.
If we are just friends with benefits why does he calls so much? I thought all FWB's do is call for a booty call. I'm not sure what to do in this situation. I'm confused and not sure what to do. How should I handle this situation and what the heck is going on????
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I am sorry for taking so long to answer your question. I have been working so much recently I havent even been on this webpage in a month. Any way, to answer your question, the guy usually determines the problem. Does he go out of his way to be nice and non-confrontational? Wants numerous calls, but avoids physical contact? As a guy, it sounds to me like one of two things are going on here. One, he likes you a lot, but is worried about strapping himself down to just one female. If he is a very flirtatious person then this is more than likely the problem. He feels that the more frequently you two hook-up, the less it will feel like random, FWB-style sex than being with a girlfriend. the very idea of a relationship scares him.
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Dear FWB
Well first off, are you comfortable with being fwb because if your not then maybe there is where alot of the mixed signals are coming from. As for him, he sounds like he has been in a lot of really bad relationships and is still dealing with those emotions. If he is someone you really want to pursue you are going to have to be patient. The example that comes to mind to me is like nursing someone back to health that has been in a horrible accident and cant do anything for themselves. Take that example and transfer it to the emotional side of your relationship and I think that is where you stand. Because chances are all he is able to give you right now is a booty call. So I hope this helps if you have anymore questions or would like to explain or elaborate any of the points I or you made just email me
laters
charm
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I really hate the friends with benefits thing. It does have the potential to cause confusion and I don't think good relationships are that easy.
You need to talk to him and see if the relationship has a chance of going anywhere. It sounds as if he does care a little more than your run of the mill FWB guy. Depends on what you're feeling for him but maybe you could turn it into a real relationship. Maybe hes afraid to ask for fear you wouldn't want that.
Do some soul searching and see if you want more out of this relationship. If you do then tell him you do. If he doesn't want it then go look for someone who wants what you want. Time has a way of getting away from you. If you want a lifetime relationship with marriage and the white picket fence someday...don't waste time on a dead end relationship.
Hope that helps you a little bit. If not feel free to stop in again. Good luck with whatever you decide. Hope it works out the way you'd like it to. :)
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