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unwritten rule on what guys can say?
I asked a question earlier, on what the big deal girls had over celebrities and athletes with a six pack. I got great answers to that question, but then something else struck me when I read one of the answers I got:
- answered Monday June 12 2006, 10:51 pm:
***Oh and something you want to avoid: mentioning ANYTHING about a girl celebrity. Like "Man she is hot!" Because your girfriend will not be with you too much longer after you do that. ***
The part I put in stars struck me, but why though? It's very true, and a lot of my guy friends have told me stories about when their girlfriends got mad or upset with them for saying a celebrity was hot. I'm not asking for the rights to go around saying so, or that I want to either, but what I have noticed is that a lot of the girls do that too. I've heard about maybe every single celebrity out there from girls, even my girlfriend, but even when I mention one [which I've always tried not to] I get a bad reaction and they are offended, sometimes mad.
So should I say something to my girlfriend about that? I mean I see it as unfair, mostly because while I have tried to say something to her about the situation, I hear the: oh but I have you and thats what I really care about... but I try saying that too and its not acceptable. What do you think? Thanks.
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i dont think you should say anything to her. girls get mad because it feels liek there being
compared. and i know you probably feel the same way though.
hope i helped
♥
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That is the silliest thing I have ever heard. Seriously, how insecure must you be (male or female) if it actually bothers you to hear about how your significant other finds a celebrity attractive? Of course they find them attractive! The reason they are celebrities is because they are some of the most attractive people in the world! That doesn't have a damn thing to do with how attractive the person finds you. I have never come across anyone with this attitude, and if I did I would find that kind of pettiness and insecurity a tremendous turn off.
Sorry, but clearly you seem to be part of the insecure group.
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It's a double-standard and it's not fair.
I disagree with those who say you shouldn't give her a taste of her own medicine. I absolutely think you should. I think you should take something that she is lacking (big butt, small butt, whatever) and point out a celebrity who has that thing that she lacks, and parrot your girlfriend's exact words back to her, but switch the "six-pack" part with whatever the female celebrity has that she doesn't.
If she gets upset, then you can ask her what the difference is between you saying that about another female, a her saying the exact same thing (just a different body part) about another male. Hopefully, she will be smart enough to use her recent experience to put herself in your place and realize how hurtful she has been to you.
Some people might say that females are more sensitive about these things than males. I say that's bull. From my experience, females are more open about their feelings, males keep it to themselves. That's the difference. Same hurt, different reaction.
If she can't see that it's unfair for her to be able to comment on male celebrities but you aren't allowed to comment on female celebrities, then I worry about her. That's pretty basic logic and common sense there... If she can't see the logic in that, who knows what the next thing will be? If she is a potential wife for you, do you really want your life-mate and the mother of your children to be someone who has no sense of fairness and can't see things from someone else's point of view?
Now, on the other hand, if she isn't upset by your observations about other women and has no problem with it, then she isn't guilty of a double-standard. It means she just thinks it's ok to talk about these things. In that case, you can either shrug it off, join in and keep commenting on female celebrities, or tell her that even though it doesn't bother her, it does bother you, and hopefully she will understand.
Good Luck.
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If you are comfortable with yourself and secure in a relationship, the odd mention of a celebrity that appeals to you shouldn't cause any negative feelings. For example, I have a big thing about Johnny Depp and my partner has a thing about Angelina Jolie and we tease each other about it all the time. It's good natured and never serious because at the end of the day, we both know we're happy with each other and nothing will ever happen with the celebrities we lust after!
But to be honest, it sounds as though this is becoming a major issue in your relationship and it is something that needs to be addressed. I'm not sure if you have spoken to your girlfriend before about this and told her how you feel but if you haven't you really need to, as it is clear you're being made to feel fairly inadequate to her.
I expect the advice you were given before was provided because if you don't say anything then she can't accuse you of doing the same thing and you can be a blameless party in this problem. However, this may be a fruitless venture because you're still being hurt by the comments she mades.
Talk to her and let her know your concerns. It's okay to be open with her about this and tell her that it makes you feel inferior. Also address with her the way she reacts when you talk about girls you like on TV. Tell her that it upsets you when she talks about guys she likes and it upsets her when you talk about girls you like so perhaps it would be best if you keep it to yourselves from now on. Chances are that in time, it will be easier to handle as you feel more stable in the relationship and in yourselves but right now you need to be more sensitive to each other's feelings.
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It's this whole double standard bullshit. Just like a girl can hit a guy but a guy can't hit a girl?
Same thing sort of. If a guy sleeps with a girl he's a pimp. If a girl does it, she's a hoe. It's all just a double standard.
Also, girls are just jealous bitches. Hell, I would know I am one. But me, I'm not like all girls. It doesn't bother me if my boyfriend were to say that so and so is hot. Only if it's a celebrity. Because I know he'll never meet them. If he says it about one of my friends, then I'd get upset because I know that he knows them.
Honestly, all I can really tell you is that girls are jealous, obnoxious bitches. Just tell your girlfriend that it does bother you when she calls other guys hot, because it makes you feel less about yourself.
Odds are, she'll say that she means nothing by it. That's one thing I don't agree with. I totally understand where you're coming from, and I feel for you bro, I really do.
I know this probably didn't help much, but I'm just letting you know how girls are. Best of luck to ya =)
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