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dad...
I had a friend over and we put on our 2 piece bakinis. well when we went outside to ask my dad a question, he just looked at us. It was kinnda scary, because it looked like he was looking at our breast part areas. Well I noticed it cause I saw his eyes moving, and I know it takes my dad a while to answer a question, but he didn't need to look at that part of our bodies. Well he did finally answer, but I went inside to tell my mom what happened, she got mad saying that he wouldn't ever do that. But it really looked like he was looking. My friend said she doesn't think he is like that, but I can't stop but thinking about what he did. Do you think my dad is perverted like that? and what can I do to stop worrying about it? My dad has never been like this before, and I know he wasn't sexually abused when he was little. What should I do?
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Well because neither your friend who was there or your mother who wasn't noticed or thought badly about this, you could probably let this one slide. But if you ever again feel like he has violated you, then I suggest you talk to someone again. If your mother still refuses to believe maybe you could bring it up with a guidance councilor or friends parent. Tell them that you could just be paranoid, but that you're worried.
Has your father ever in ANY way violated you? Is this the first time that something like this has happened? If so, then I suggest talking to a guidance councilor before school is out for summer (I only have about 5 days left, that's why I say before school's out) If you've ever felt violated in any way by your father and this is not the first time, then I do suggest talking to someone other than your mother who could possibly be in denial.
But if this is the first time and you're the only one who noticed something strange or felt bothered by it, it may not be that big of a deal. If you are feeling strongly about it then I do suggest you talk to another adult.
If you're not too scared or uncomfortable with talking to your dad about it, then maybe bring it up with him. Also, if your father or any other person violates you in any way or makes you feel uncomfortable in any way (such as you feel as if they're looking at you unappropriately or they've touched you unappropriately) then you NEED to do something about it ASAP. The longer you go without telling someone, the better chance they have getting away with it.
One of my friends was (in a way) sexually harrassed by a teacher, moreso verbally harrassed, (he said inappropraite sexual things to her such as blow me ... as in suck his member, stuff like that) but because she was so nervous and took so long to tell her mother, there wasn't much anyone could do. Just for the rest of high school she can not get that teacher and will get switched if she ends up in his class.
Sorry this is long, but to sum up my point -
It's a GOOD thing you told your mother, it's important that you did that, whether or not she thinks it's true. If this is the first time, don't completely ignore it, but don't make too big a fuss, just because you're the only one who thinks something happened doesn't mean that it did and doesn't mean that he didn't. Don't be paranoid, but be on the lookout, make sure that he really was (or wasn't) doing something inappropriate before taking any serious action. And if something inappropriate was occuring, try going to your mother again. If that doesn't work you can either confide in a friend's parent or go directly to authorities such as the police or even child protection agencies.
I'm not trying to say just ignore it, NEVER ignore anything that bothers you like this.
I'm sorry if I wasn't of that much help. Someone I absolutely think could help you with this is the columnist YoungGrandma - she's amazing and would probably be perfect to answer this question.
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