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Changing a Friendship
Dear Krupple,
I feel so horrible for asking this but I need help gradually distancing myself from a friend. I first became acquainted with her earlier this year and got to know her better as time went on. I never really shared the same interests as her but you can never have too many friends and I figured that I should be as open minded as possible to give her the chance she deserved. However, as time went on I realized that we had many differences. She swears often -think Erin Brokovitch- and while I don't have a problem with the odd exclamation when someone's upset, I don't much care for it on a regular basis. Also, I found out that she broke off contact with one of my best friends some time ago in favor of someone who I'm not sure I entirely approve of. She is also staunchly set in her opinions and often monopoloizes my time; she is also not a Christian. Despite our differences, I don't want to hurt her feelings but at the same time I don't think that it is a healthy relationship for me to continue. As much of a coward as a feel for saying this, I don't think I have the courage to confront her directly- I've always been fairly soft-spoken and I'm already pretty disgusted with myself for even thinking about hurting someone. Any words of advise would be much appreciated.
Yours Truly,
Pseudonym
P.S. As uncomfortable as I am around her now, it seems that she still feels rather close to me and always wants to hang out. I feel as if it would add injury to insult to blatantly tell her that I don't feel comfortable around her anymore.
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Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Friendship?
I had a best friend who was very confrontational. When he wanted to stop hanging out with me, he ignored me. It took me a year and a half to realize he was lying to me, and that's why we didn't hang out very often. It really bothered me. I'd mentally beat myself up trying to figure out if he was avoiding me.
I understand you aren't best friends or anything and it's mature of you to stop hanging out with someone because you fear they will have a negative affect on you.
Perhaps you could tell her your mom doesn't want you two to hang out anymore (I don't know how old you are). You could also tell her you need some space, and take a break from hanging with her. I understand it's hard to confront people, but if you decide to do so just tell her that you didn't want to flat out avoid her without telling her anything because you didn't want to be mean.
I think (if you have not already solved the problem) you should send her a note on AIM or an email about how things aren't going well. And better yet, summer is comming up so you should be able to stay away from her fairly easily.
Hope I've helped, I'm a bit rushed so give me some more info if you wish.
C, ya
James
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