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Changing a Friendship
Dear Wonderchef,
I feel so horrible for asking this but I need help gradually distancing myself from a friend. I first became acquainted with her earlier this year and got to know her better as time went on. I never really shared the same interests as her but you can never have too many friends and I figured that I should be as open minded as possible to give her the chance she deserved. However, as time went on I realized that we had many differences. She swears often -think Erin Brokovitch- and while I don't have a problem with the odd exclamation when someone's upset, I don't much care for it on a regular basis. Also, I found out that she broke off contact with one of my best friends some time ago in favor of someone who I'm not sure I entirely approve of. She is also staunchly set in her opinions and often monopoloizes my time; she is also not a Christian. Despite our differences, I don't want to hurt her feelings but at the same time I don't think that it is a healthy relationship for me to continue. Any words of advise would be much appreciated.
Yours Truly,
Pseudonym
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Dear Pseudonym,
First, let me congratulate you on your command of the english language. Your question was both concisely and eloquently phrased. Now to the advice. You can indeed have to many friends, there is a certain point at which you can not find the time or energy to maintain good relationships with a large amount of people. I do commend you on trying to understand someone who is different than you but in the big scheme of things, those differences sometimes become impossible to overcome. The language is something you should directly confront your friend about, there is rarely good cause to go around spouting profanity. Try not to get involved in the conflict between your best friend and the friend you're distancing yourself from. If she is making descisions that you do not approve of you should tell her. But don't be brutal in your delivery. Temper the truth with love. The best thing you can do, is talk to her about it, tell her your not happy with how things are going. If she doesn't care enough to consider how you feel, then you don't need to be close friends with her anymore.
Best luck,
Thewonderchef
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