|
Okay, so I've been a little depressed lately. Pretty much all of my friends have boyfriends or guys like them, and it seems like I'm the only one who doesn't .. and the thing I can't figure out is why no guys like me. Guys always seem to be interested in my friends and act like I'm invisible. I mean, I'm really nice(maybe overly nice at times) and I'm not selfish, unlike half the girls at my school, and alot of people tell me I'm really pretty. But, the thing is, I think I'm too mature for my own good and I'm not into drama or being all ditzy and loud to get a guy to like me .. but it seems like the loud conceited girls have guys. I feel like there's something wrong with me. I don't know, I just feel like no one really notices me and no matter how hard I try, every single guy I like always says, "Sorry, we're just friends." Ugh, should I just give up and not try so hard to find someone, or do something different for some guy to like me? Because it seems like I'm never good enough for anyone. Any advice? Thanks.
[ ]
Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Love Life?
Yeah I know what you mean. I've gone through the same situation as you. But you kind of have to realize that the relationships your friends have with those guys would honestly last like a couple of days and it's over... it's just plain stupid cause it's not like a real relationship to start off. You can't really force a guy to like you also. Just be who you truly are and someday someone will love you for just being yourself. Don't try to be something who you aren't because it'll just make you miserable in the end. And hey, if you want to be loved, you should love yourself first. Love your true self and just find confidence in yourself, it's a step.
I hope this advice helped a little at least. =3
]
I understand that it's frustrating when you seem to have everything a boy should be looking for in a girl (personality, looks, down to earth, drama free), but the truth is you can't force these things.
My advice is to simply continue being you and stop looking too hard for a connection with a boy. If you stop worrying about it and just be yourself, have fun and continue being laid back and drama free, I promise a boy will notice and be interested. And - bonus - it will be the right boy, not a forced relationship or just someone you go out with just for the sake of being with someone.
It might sound nice just to have anyone by your side, but being with the wrong person or someone you're not truly into can be a miserable experience. Also, a lot of your friends that have boyfriends all the time could actually be doing themselves a disservice. When you are not wrapped up in a relationship, you have an opportunity to prove to yourself that you can be independent and comfortable all on your own. Knowing that about yourself will assist you in having a healthy connection with someone else when the right guy finds you, or you find him, or better yet... you find each other.
I know you're anxious to get in on the dating game, but there's plenty of time. For now, you can observe the dating going on around you and really pay attention to what works and what doesn't. Learn from your friends mistakes and pitfalls in love. Your turn is coming and you'll be ready! Best of luck to you.
Kind wishes,
]
You sound like me, except I'm a guy.
Honestly, relationships aren't all they're cracked up to be. They end stupid, and there's a good chance your teenage relationships will end horribly and the two of you won't be friends.
So what I say is, be patient. Yes, I realize having a boyfriend seems like the most important thing, but since you're still in high school, it's alright that you haven't dated anyone like all your other friends.
There's nothing wrong with waiting for the right person, and that's really what I think you should do. Dating just for the sake of dating is useless. Once you find someone who appreciates you for you, you'll be happier than if you just dated people because your friends were doing it.
Nothing is wrong with you.
--Jack
(16/m)
]
hey!! ok first of all, i know how you feel, and don't worry because EVERYONE feels that way at one point of their life or another. i can guarantee you that there will be no time in your life when every one of your friends AND you will be in a relationship all at the same time. that's just one of those things that you will learn to accept over time. right now they all might have bfs and you don't, but at some point down the road, you will have one and they won't... or another one of your friends will be the only single one and feel left out. it's hard but there are things you can do to fix this. if you feel like they are ditching you for their boyfriends or always bringing them along, then just explain things to them. tell them that you are happy for them but it makes you feel lonely that you are the only one still single, and if they are good friends they will understand and spend quality time with just you... no BFs!
now you mentioned all the good qualities about yourself, and i'm glad you haven't let this get to you to the point where you want to change yourself! there is absolutely nothing wrong with you, and i can guarantee you that there is at least one guy that likes you but hasn't said anything, so you have no reason to feel bad. if you change yourself just to get a guy, the changes will only be temporary. he will get with you thinking you are something that you are NOT, and eventually when the real you comes out in the relationship, things probably won't work out... you will end up with the wrong guy. just be yourself and someone out there will LOVE it... there is a significant other for all of us, it just takes some time and patience to find that person.
also, don't be too desperate to get a boyfriend... just remind yourself that it's not that big of a deal, because it's really NOT! i broke up with a bf of 2 years because i WANTED to be single... enjoy being single while you can, because it really is something people take for granted and it can be SO much fun! BFs can be fun, but relationships are also VERY stressful... enjoy not having to deal with that while you can. you have to be happy with yourself, and you shouldn't depend on a guy for happiness... ever! if all you think about it getting a bf, you will be depressed about it until you get one... not to mention that guys don't like girls who throw themselves at them. they like competition and working for what they have, so if you are too available that will turn them off. a friend once had a bf that broke up with her because she was "too available" and always willing to go out with him every time he called her. he told her that her life shouldn't revolve around him and that she needs to have a life of her own outside of the relationship! remember that! :)
i know this is long, but one more thing... just because you want a bf, don't rush and SETTLE for a guy that you don't really like! it will be a waste of your time, and instead of being out there looking for the RIGHT guy, you will be stuck with the wrong guy that you settled for and maybe miss the opportunity to meet mr. right. if someone likes you but you don't at all, then don't convince yourself that you like them just because you want a bf. boyfriends are no fun unless you like them as much as they like you!
so remember, never ever change yourself for a guy (or anyone as a matter of fact), and don't feel discouraged... just because your friends have BFs right now, it doesn't mean that you should have one too. eventually everything will fall into place, just don't rush. and when that special guy finally comes along, it will be that much better because you waited for him for a long time. but don't let your happiness ever depend on another person... your life will be SOO much better once you learn to depend ONLY on yourself for happiness. don't worry about the things that you can't change... you have so many more years to live, and so many bfs to go through, so just enjoy yourself while you can! :) truusstt me!! ok sorry this is so long, but i hope it helped! good luck and don't worry!!
]
More Questions: |