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how to get this guy to open up
I know this guy. I think i have a crush on him.
but i dont know if he likes me or even wants to be my friend at all.
He's a consultant and talks extremely well when i ask him for advise on work.
However, he gets shy/uncomfortable, when i ask him simple personal questions for eg: Do you go for swimming. I think he has a problem of talking about himself to new people or just not that friendly.
So one day, i gave him some sweets via his secretary (i didnt really know him that well at that time in office) and he was quite startled and stared at me and waited for me to say something when i bumped at him at the doorway.
He had those puppy eyes..but didnt say word!.
I pretended not to appear interested in him becos i was too shy.!
He could have just thank me for the sweets but he didnt.
Later, i sent him email and was able to chat with him about work..and he responded quite well.
How do i get him to open up to me as a normal friend?
What can i say/should not say to him when i call him? Can i call him to say goodnight to him? I dont want to appear too invasive ...
Would appreciate your advice.
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Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Love Life?
first of all the next time, you talk to him online. i would ask him, i would be straight up and say "why wont you talk to me as a normal friend?" and see what he has to say, i bet he has a reason, and if he says theres no reason what so ever or if there is, just tell him you want to be friends, and if its okay with him, and who knows he might open up a little more and respect that you asked him straight up what was bothering you and wanted to know. if he says it wont work being friends ask him why. i would just ask a bunch of question, not too many. but enough to get you what you needed out of him, to understand. but dont just like BLURT it out at the beginning ask him something you need help with and talk for about 5-10 minutes before you start talking about being friends type things. if he is shy or whatever, tell him he has no reason to be shy, because your a good person and you want to spend time with him, not just in the office but to go take lunch breaks with him and go get coffee. hopefully he will be excited and be like yea, deffinately lets do that. if not, then hes a big fat jerk if he just going to blow you off, which i really doubt he will do since you said he was a "shy" and "uncomfortable" type of guy. when you see him in person say hi, and see if he will respond. making conversations is a good thing, people respect people when they talk and have conversations, you can talk about the weather talk about a sport you play or you going to the gym, or the funniest thing that happend in work that day. also, make sure he is SINGLE too. Some men that are married go to work without a wedding ring. its a thing they have. but yea, just becareful. when he says its cool to be friends ask him questions about himself and then ask him to ask you questions and if he says he doesnt know any answer the questions you asked him. i hope everything works out, if you need me write me another note. thanks.
-sammay
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